A semicolon is used when an author could have chosen to end his/her sentence, but chose not to.
Yesterday was my 25th birthday, and I can honestly say that I am happy to be alive. I am truly grateful to have lived another year. Although I feel this way today, there was a time when I wanted to die. I felt that life wasn’t worth living. I felt alone and worthless.
For some believing in God is irrational. Some believe in facts and science that “prove” that God can’t be real. However, no matter how many “facts” or how much science is presented to discredit God’s realness, one thing is for sure … no one can ever dispute how he has changed your life. Your experiences with Him are proof enough.
While going through a box of things I hadn’t looked through in quite some time, I found an old journal. In that journal, I found some things I had written a couple of years ago. Each sentence was so dark. I casually wrote of death. During that time ANY small thing could and would totally affect me emotionally. I was severely depressed.
Everything that I felt during that period couldn’t have been further from the truth. In fact, those thoughts that controlled my mood were big fat lies. Sadly, it was when I was at my saddest or lowest (as opposed to sooner) that I decided that I would 100% totally trust God with my life. From there, although it wasn’t an overnight process, mentally I began to heal. As my relationship with God began to grow, I could feel the exchange of sadness and discontentment for joy. Today, I feel secure in knowing that He has a plan for me.
I struggled with writing this blog. Depression is a topic that is not often talked about. This past week I gained the courage to write about it. It seemed that every time I logged into a social media site I would see a post about depression or about suffering in silence or I would see some extremely dark and sad post. While completing the Authentic Witnessing in Today’s World devotional via the YouVersion Bible App, I was reminded that my testimony is key to witnessing to others.
Your testimony and own experience with Christ is one of the most powerful tools in sharing the Gospel. It’s personal to you, which will make it more meaningful to others. In fact, it’s in this action you are the most authentic…
It’s incredible that God can use that dark period in my life to allow me to be a witness to others and to let someone that is struggling with depression know that they are not alone. That was a time for me when daily tasks seemed unattainable, and I couldn’t see beyond the day. I could have never imagined that I would be 25 … no longer depressed … writing about it on a blog for an 11 month mission trip that I will take in less than a year. Today, I look forward to whatever future God has for me. Looking forward to the future in its self is truly amazing!
I know that it is only because of God that I am mentally healed. No one can ever tell me or convince me otherwise!
To the people struggling with depression:
You are definitely not alone. Honestly, I think you are extremely brave. I remember reading a quote about choosing to live. “The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.” Please, keep living.
Even if you feel alone, please know that God is with you and he hears you. No matter how significant or insignificant you think your feelings are, He cares. He sent his Holy Spirit to help you. Even when you don’t have the words just cry out to him. Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groaning which cannot be uttered. Romans 8:28 NKJV
I even like the Message Bible’s translation…
Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans.
In addition, please read the verses below. I have each written in a notebook. Write them out somewhere. (I am completely obsessed with notebooks/journals. Reading things I wrote in the past reminds me of how much progress I have made. Or it reminds me of something positive that I need to continue.) Lastly, please don’t be ashamed to get help. Tell someone how you are feeling, and don’t be afraid to seek help from a professional. It helps.
I waited patiently for the Lord; He inclined to me and heard my cry. Psalms 40:1
Verses to write and read
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Psalms 40:1-3 Psalms 37:3-4 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Psalms 42:11 Jeremiah 29:11 John 16:33 1 Peter 4:12-13 Hosea 6:1 2 Timothy 1:7 Romans 5:3-5
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Psalms 147:3 Philippians 4:13 Isaiah 41:10,13 1 Corinthians 10:10 Philippians 4:6-8 Proverbs 3:5-6 1 Peter 5:7 Hebrews 11:6 Romans 12:12 James 1:2-4
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What’s Next: Over the next few months, I plan on learning more about each country that I will visit. I will try to share what I learn at least once a month. Also, I will start doing more fundraising within the near future. Be sure to subscribe for updates!
Thank you so much for reading! Comments are welcome below. 🙂
