I have known that I needed to write this blog for, I don’t know, three weeks now….but I have been holding off because I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted it to sound so beautifully written; eloquent, if you will. So now, three weeks later, and still no blog I decided to give that up. So here it is in it’s simplicity…the final chapter. DUN DUN DUN.
I figured, for dramatic effect, it would only be fitting to end this series with where it began: The Truth.
So what is the truth now?
The truth is I completely lost sight of Jesus last month, which is pretty crazy considering i’m on an 11-month mission trip where the sole focus is to make Jesus famous. Seems a bit odd that I would lose sight of Him, but ya know…the Enemy is a tricky little bastard.
We came into the month of Vietnam knowing that we weren’t allowed to tell people that we were missionaries, weren’t allowed to tell them about the Gospel, etc. Basically, if anyone asked, we were volunteers traveling around the country helping out different people, which in and of itself is not bad. BUT I realized that I took on that mold. I took on the mold of just being a volunteer and not there to be Jesus to people, and it took a toll on me. I got a glimpse of who I was apart from Jesus and I don’t like that person. At all. That person is kind of (excuse my language) a bitch. On top of this, I opened the door for deception to creep in. I allowed myself to be deceived. After God gave me this realization I went back and re-read my blogs and it was all confirmation. I was saying things like “I just want to be alone, I want to be on a journey alone, etc” I started thinking why would God call me out of a community of 50 other believers who are pursuing Him whole-heartedly on a daily basis? He just wouldn’t. He doesn’t call us to be alone; He wants us to be in community like this- spurring each other on to greatness. And then, it hit even harder…my prayer was “is this pointless?” And of course it felt pointless, because life without Jesus IS pointless. It felt that way because it was.
THEN, because God is so gracious He wasn’t done. He gave me the sign I was begging for, and it came in the form of 5 beautiful God-fearing women. I am still in humble awe and confusion of how this happened but our Squad’s leadership approached me and asked me if I wanted to lead a team next month in India. ME. The girl who just wrote two blogs about how bad she wanted to go home and how she wasn’t sure if the Race was for her? You want HER to lead five women next month? WHAT? But it hit me in that moment. This was my sign. These women are my sign. In my first blog I asked the question “which decision is worth it?” Well I can tell you right now these women are worth it. They are more than worth it.
So with that said I would like to introduce you to them: Meet Team Ahuvah (beloved)
