Kisses from Katie, by Katie Davis and Beth Clark:
“…people who believe in God are supposed to help the poor. Helping the poor is not something God asks His people to do; it is something that throughout all generations, He INSTRUCTS us to do.”
“…everywhere I have looked, raw, filthy, human need and brokenness have been on display, begging for someone to meet them, fix them. And even though I realize I cannot always mend or meet, I can enter in. I can enter in to someone’s pain and sit with them and KNOW. This is Jesus. Not that He apologizes for the hard and the hurt, but that He enters in, He comes with us to the hard places. And so I continue to enter.”
“…the truth is that there are children like this all over the world, sick, starving, dying, unloved, and uncared for. The truth is that the 143 million orphaned children and the 11 million who starve to death or die from preventable diseases and the 8.5 million who work as child slaves prostitutes or under other horrific conditions and the 2.3 million who live with HIV add up to 164.8 million needy children. And although at first glance that looks like a big number 2.1 BILLION people on this earth proclaim to be Christians. The truth is that if only 8 percent of Christians would care for one more child, there would not be any statistics left. This is the Truth. I have the freedom to believe it. The freedom, the opportunity to DO something about it. The truth is, that He loves these children just as much as He loves me and now that I know, I am responsible.”
My journal reads:
Holy crap. I am so disgusted with my behavior. Faces that I've seen in countries across the world–I've just walked right on past them; holding onto the temporal security or mere convenience. How gross and hypocritical of me! My goodness.. Lord, I am so sorry for becoming so numb to it all. Help me Jesus–to not only be incredibly GRATEFUL for what I have, but SHARE unceasingly with all those in need–who ever you set in my path on this journey. I'm so sorry I've abandoned your children who cry out to You. I'm sorry for my pride and selfish conceit, trying to ultimately glorify myself and not trusting in You–UGH. Who do I think I AM anyway?!
The faces of the Philippino beggars on the steps of the overpass immediately come to mind–faces, people, your Children who are set above all creation–I could've sat with them. I could've provided a meal–TWO, THREE meals even!–I simply walked by, awkwardly avoiding eye contact.
I think of all the men and women I served in the Sanford civic center's soup kitchen back home. How I just limited these children, men, and women to a mere "serving time"–a mere few hours, once a week–NEVER ONCE inviting them to hang out outside of feedings, sharing life with them, having them over for dinner…
I've come to the realization that I long to serve only myself. I long to serve my false and wretched god of appearance.
Thank you Lord for opening my eyes to just see the tip of the iceberg to how wretched I am! Thank you for leading me out of this lie that I have to need to keep looking out for "number one" (me.)
God, when You call me to do something, and I don't give you my 100% absoluteness within whatever it is, I then doubt You. I doubt Your goodness, Your provisions.. everything about You, who You say You are, what You've done.. and I am not believing ultimately in You; i'm building a shrine only to myself.
For that I am sorry. I cannot begin to thank you enough for disciplining me as your daughter, showing me Your truth. Thank you for opening my eyes to reality again and again. Thank you for your grace patience and love that I'll never be able to understand.
Thanks for using the beginning of this book to continue on Your awesome work within me.
Readers, Supporters, Subscribers: I just wanted to tell yall that I am sorry that I've been serving myself, even being here on the Race–my wants, my desires, my image. I'm sorry for not giving God my full 100% best–still knowing full well it's a filthy rag–but that He wants it. He wants my heart. I'm sorry for not serving our Lord for His glory alone.
But now, know this:
With the strength and patience and help of our Holy Heavenly Father, He's changing my heart. He's bringing things to light by the counsel of His Spirit within me. He's destroying all the temporal failing things of this world and desires that I cling so tightly to in order to bring me to a place where I can hold fast to the deep joy of being fully rest assured in who He is, in what He's done and continues to do for me and in me, and in one day sharing eternity with Him. And having that be enough. In that, He's granting me the confidence that He's leading me towards more amazing places that He wants to share with me, so that more people will taste and see in the goodness of the Gospel. He is giving me a beautiful life, and opening my eyes more and more to His truths–in which, I'll be sure, with His guidance and help, to follow Him faithfully where ever He leads–giving Him 100% of ALL the glory and praise and honor, forever and ever–knowing fully well that, though it's no excuse to falter, He'll be there right behind me when I mess up overflowing with loving grace and mercy that calls out for me to keep pressing on in this life–all because of Him. 🙂
Oh Jesus, help me love more like You do!!
