A Mother to the Motherless

But even so, I STILL miss THE ABSOLUTE CRAP out of her to the point where it hurts.

(prom09: disregard the date)

Last year this time, I HATED seeing flowers or even stupid family picture frames. I was on my guard while watching TV and as commercials would come on–if anything looked like it was from/related to Hallmark I IMMEDIATELY shut off the TV and left the room for a good 5 minutes to collect my bearings.
On the Race it’s been hard too–but nothing is outside of the healing loving power of our mighty Lord–who has experienced sorrows that we could NEVER imagine–and even THOSE sorrows have been conquered through His death and resurrection.

At the end of this past September, momma’s birthday, it was extremely hard being away from home and family. One night at debrief, during worship, Christin came up to me with a vision:
“This is going to sound totally weird and crazy, but God wants me to tell you this.. I had a vision of you in a little papoose on God’s back, and God was Tarzan! You two were surfing through/swinging through the trees and sometimes, it would get a little crazy–but you guys always stayed on course. And Cheyanne, the journey you have with him through the trees is soo beautiful! Basically, God wants to tell you that He wants to be your mom now. He wants to nurture you, and take care of you just like your mom did for you. He’s always got you and will never let you go, and has you with Him on this incredible journey.”

*cue rivers of tears*

After she finished speaking, I told her about how one of my mom’s favorite musicians was Phil Colins, and I actually had “You’ll Be In My Heart” stuck in my head all day and couldn’t get it out.
Her eyes got as big as saucers and said, “No freaking way! God’s so stinking good!! I didn’t want to say this because it sounded so weird.. but that was the song that was playing in the background of the vision!”

*cue: losing my mind*

I immediately let out praises to God, thanking Him for who He is and His love–still mourning the loss of my momma, I thanked Him that He is exactly what I need, exactly when I need it.

 
Here’s the point of this post, folks:

God offers Himself to us.
ALL of Himself–do we even understand just how much that is?? 
If we take our eyes off of the meaningless things that we try to satisfy our hearts with–things that were never created to satisfy us, but to merely point us to God–and fix our eyes ON Him,
HE THEN INVITES US TO INVITE HIM TO BECOME OUR EVERYTHING–HIM WHO FULFILLS THE DEEPEST LONGINGS OF OUR HEARTS.
He desires to be our Father, He desires to be our Lover, our Friend–our Mother.
Oh the depths of joy and meaning we have in Christ our Savior!

WHEN THIS HAPPENS,
WE THEREBY GO OUT TO THE WORLD–not out of obligation, but because His love spills out from within our souls–AND BE:
a father to the Fatherless, a lover to the unlovable, a friend to the friendless, 
a mother to the motherless.
all for His glory.

God–my “Momma”, 
I thank you for this life I live–with it’s twists and turns. Joys and sorrows. Gains and losses. YOU ARE GOOD THROUGH IT ALL. You are the Author of our lives, nothing surprises You. May I do nothing less but live my life for Your glory alone! Thank you so much for the wellspring of life, It’s ONLY found in You! Your hope, Your joy, Your love that bursts through my whole being–You satisfy every corner of my soul. Thank you Jesus.
Love You,
Chey