Today after 238 days of community living, sleeping on planes, and visiting 10 countries across three continents I have an announcement to make. I want to go home! I want to be in my own bed, under my own blankets and air conditioning. I want to open the freezer and see a box of pizza rolls staring back. I want to walk down the street and not be stared at for being foreign. Lately it doesn’t take much to make me painfully homesick! Just today my mom mentioned a visit to Starbucks and it nearly sent me into tears. Not just because I miss my iced caramel lattes with mom (though that is a factor) but because I miss being so well known. At this exact moment, I’m being robbed of my joy by the idea that home will satisfy forever. When I’m allured by the charms of home is when I’m vulnerable to attack I think. So alongside my homesickness I’m greeted by temptation. The temptation to become lazy and complacent at home is definitely a mighty one! Once I realized how homesick I was today I decided to turn this into a letter to my future self. I’ll make this short and sweet:
Dear Chessie One Month From Now,
Remember when you thought being in America would solve all of your problems? LOL. I’m writing to you from a tent in India. My arms ache from moving piles of dirt and playing freeze tag with schoolkids. That said, I’m on an incredible once-in-a-lifetime kind of journey right now! I know you’re looking back on these days and missing them. Me? I’m not quite there yet. I don’t miss moving dirt yet. Even from where I sit I know that this isn’t about your surroundings changing but about an inner change. Don’t forget how hard you fought to become the person God wants you to truly be. For both of our sakes, fight to instigate righteous change in your current community. In all your time on the Race that’s one thing you did SO WELL. You influenced. You altered. You impacted for the glory of God! Chessie – whether you’re 30 or 230 days into being home, don’t forget to look up right where you are. Don’t look back too long. Just keep running this lifelong Race with the perseverance we’ve got. Today I wanted to be right where you are now. Home. Home in all it’s glory. Remember that when you start to think a change of scenery will be the fix you need. It won’t be. The only factor that will alter your joy is how hard you push into the nature of Christ. Instead of being surrounded by Peruvian mountain views for your time with the Lord, find the joy in being in an air conditioned room with instant coffee available. Live your American life on mission. As you go, make disciples. Make them in coffee shops and small group. Make those disciples out of your family members, your friends and your neighbors. He’s with you now. He’s with you always. He’s with you to the end of the age.
It feels good to get that out there! I’m still wrestling with homesickness but as I just reminded myself, my joy doesn’t wait at home a month from now. It waits in the Father’s arms right now!
Pray for my team as we ready ourselves to travel into Pokhara, Nepal!
