Just still trusting the process ???
I applied to the World Race last summer. I was accepted in May of 2019, but didn’t start fundraising until beginning of 2020. Why did I wait for months? I was scared. Dreaming of it was fun. Announcing it was exciting. Fundraising for it, has made it real. But to me, in my head, fundraising = opportunity for epic failure. And that’s terrifying lol. To have everyone see you try to do this big thing and fail? No thanks. I guess I waited to put in the ‘hard work’ because I somehow already knew I couldn’t get it done.
Did you catch how many times I just typed I, me, and my? 10. That was my problem. I made it all about me. That’s why it felt gross approaching people to ask for money. That’s why sending out support letters made me nauseous. That’s why I would shy away from speaking about it because I felt like people would think I was only after what they could give me.
I’ve been thinking on the words of Jesus in Matthew 6:21, that where my treasure is, my heart is also.
I’ve had to ask myself ‘where am I putting my trust and faith and security?’ If it’s not God, it’s gonna fail, epically lol. So I have to view money and status and possessions and goals and accomplishments and all those things with the right lenses. With the mindset that God is my all, therefore I have all. In seeking Him and His kingdom, all else will fall right into place. Like a good Daddy, He’s gonna take care of His girl.
I’ve also been thinking on the words of God in Jeremiah 9:23, to not boast in my own strength.
Not gonna lie, after I began planning some of my fundraisers and then actually sharing them, I got major stressed and a tad prideful inside.
‘When can I get this done by’
‘How am I gonna make all this work’
‘Where will I get the money I need’
I stressed because I felt it was my job to work a miracle. HAHA right?!? Only through God do miracles come, so I had to hand it all over to Him. He’s the reason this opportunity has even come up in the first place, He’s gonna be my Rock while I’m gone, and I know for a fact He’s using this for my purpose He has for me when I come home. So why leave Him out of a huge part of the process? Get Him in ya business.
And I’ve also been thinking on the words of Paul in is letter to the Philippians, thanking them for their generosity but also teaching them to be content in all circumstances.
Content. A hard work for modern day Americans to understand lately. But I know that Paul wasn’t just talking about being content, he was talking about being satisfied in God Himself and what He has to offer. This fundraising journey, even though it hasn’t been that long yet and I still have a ways to go, has taught me so much. But not about myself. It’s taught me about the character and nature of God.
He’s my Provider. He’s my source of Life. He’s what sustains me and satisfies me. He’s what gets me through.
Sometime in January, I shared this with my squad :
“I had been stuck in the mindset that ‘i’ had to make this happen, but y’all it’s an opportunity to see God provide for us in ways we can’t. See it as a sweet way to watch God work and get to know Him better!!! Yes we still have to put in time and effort but don’t try to carry the weight on your shoulders alone!!!”
Sometime in February, I shared this with a close friend :
“I think sometimes I get discouraged because I still haven’t raised as much as everyone else, but God is good and He’s teaching me a lot through it.
He’s teaching me
That one person CANT do it all.
That the mission is FOR us all.
That HE provides.
That money ISNT life.
That it’s a TOOL to serve Him.
And that fundraising CONNECTS and UNITES people towards a common goal – His mission.”
By the end of February, I told this to a friend considering the World Race :
“Don’t let the money part hold you back! See it as a tool. Like gas for the vehicle to get you to His destination for you. It’s not you asking people for money for you personally, it’s you asking them to come along side you to fulfill the great commission. Maybe they can’t go on missions, but they can help you go. God is good and faithful to provide. He is good and can be trusted. And he is good and will accomplish his will. If he calls you to something, if it’s his will, not even you can change it. He’s called me to the world race. He’s opened the door for me to go. He’s providing the gas. And he’s proving to me over and over and over again in so many new sweet wonderful ways how I can trust him. He’s not just providing funds, he’s teaching me a lot about trust and confidence in him and his word.??”
No longer do I see fundraising = failure. Now I see fundraising = trust.
Something seemingly 10x scarier than failing, 100x harder to do, but 100000000000000000x worth it.
Maybe you’re not fundraising for a mission trip, but maybe there’s something in your life you see as a failure when really it’s an opportunity to trust the Lord. Take time to identify that and bring it to Him. Read up on His character and get to know His heart, for you.
Who knows, maybe trust = miracles.
1 Timothy 6:17-19
Until the next one,
Chelsie
