It seems like yesterday I was bursting into happy tears as I told friends & family I'd be going on the World Race. Training camp seemed like a distant dream and launch was months away.
Today, I sit here a training camp survivor, six weeks away from leaving the country for a year.
The question everyone is asking me now (that I'm sure you're asking the computer screen) is "So, how was training camp?"
Well. It was…yeah.
It was hard. Some days sucked. Some nights sucked even more. I was wrecked. I was exhausted. I was attacked by fear and doubt and whispers of insecurity and uncertainty every night as I laid in my tent (or bus seat or hostel). Training camp sucked.
But it was beautiful. Breathtakingly so. Sorrow lasted for many nights (especially in torrential downpours), but joy came in the morning when I opened my tent and saw the faces of this new family emerging from their own tents.
I was broken yet restored. I was hurting, but I was also healed. I also realized pretty quickly that I wasn't going to be given answers, but rather trained in depending on the Lord in the unknown.
Saturday afternoon, there we were arriving at Toccoa: strangers. nervous. fearful.
Monday after returning home, here we are: family, strengthened, empowered. It's an incredible transition.
Meeting my squad was probably the closest thing I'll ever do to online dating. After months and months of facebooking, oovoo-ing, and group texting, I think I forgot that I was actually going to meet these people in real life. And as usual for me, as each person arrived, my heart grew more and more overwhelmed. these are the people who I'm walking through the next year with. These are the people who will experience the heartbreaking, the heart filling, and the ups and downs of ministry with me. They're real.
Not only are they real, they are eager to love and to be loved. To live and learn together. To be vulnerable and exposed and to fight for one another. They're eager to bring the Kingdom to the world. We're all a mess, but somehow God is taking our mess and creating a beautiful family out of it. Somehow he's using the mess to create a message. And it is equally empowering and terrifying to be a part of it.
Who would have thought that I could fall in love with a group of people so quickly?
Next week, you'll get the "What to Expect When You're Expecting: Training Camp Version" where I'll tell you all the things you really want to hear about camp: what I ate, where I slept, and how to avoid having the "airlines lose your pack" (just kidding, can't tell you that). But before we get ahead of ourselves, I want you to meet my team.
Emily, Jill, Jenny, Saige, Leah, and Lindy.
These are the 6 women I will be living with for the coming months. The women I will be crying with, laughing with, praying with, throwing up with, and dancing with. The women who will hold me accountable, lift me up and help me carry my burdens. They're the ones I'll explore foreign marketplaces with, eat tarantulas with and design tattoos with. These are the beautiful women of God I have been asked to lead as we take Jesus to the ends of the earth.
Wait, what? Lead? Is this a joke, God?
Nope. I am indeed a team leader…or Yoda, as I have been so lovingly called. Yoda, I am.
Everyday I will fight the enemy's lies that I am not good enough or strong enough to do it. But I'll fight. Because my Jesus is enough. Because this community is worth it. Because these women are worth it.
I am humbled and honored for the opportunity. I will fight for these women, encourage, live and serve these women, and believe in them with my whole heart. I am in awe of the way God works things together and am excited to watch His plans unfold. Considering the 7 of us have already succeeded in designing and getting a tattoo together before we've even left the country – this year is going to be an adventure. And I could not be more thrilled to begin.
We named our team "Desiderio Domini" after Lindy passed along a story to us she had heard about Peter. Supposedly he was a bit of a crier (as are we) and when people would ask why he cried so often, his response would be "Desiderio Domini," translating to "I dearly long to be with my Lord!" As a team, we want this to be the cry of our hearts: for nothing else to matter but the presence of our Jesus.
Later this week, I'll have another exciting update about the nitty gritty details of Training Camp, as well as some SUPER exciting route changes! Thank you all for being so incredible. Your support and your prayers are overwhelming and they mean the world to me!
