It's been 52 days since training camp.
There are 7 days until I'm on a plane. SEVEN.
That's pretty unreal.
That's quite a few days in between training camp and launch, in case you didn't notice. And honestly, I haven't known what to do with a lot of them.
It's pretty easy to find blogs about getting ready for training camp.
And you can find some pretty great blogs about packing for launch.
But a lot of people don't seem to write blogs about sitting in the tension between the two.
(Or maybe they do and I just can't find a way to search Google for them)
So here I am, sitting in my last week in the United States, frozen. I don't know what to feel, I don't know what to think, and I really have no idea what I'm actually getting into. I am excited, yet I am also terrified.
I have no doubt that this is where God has called me for this season, but I doubt everyday if I'm actually ready or capable or worthy to walk in it. Welcome to my in-between time.
My mind has been a battlefield of excitement, expectation, insecurity, lies, truth and identity. Ninety percent of me is ready to walk into this. The other 10% of me wants to walk backwards so she can keep looking at everything she's leaving behind.
I've fought with that ten percent of myself everyday in the time between training camp and launch. And in the fighting, the words of dear CS Lewis come to mind…
"There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind."
A little over four years ago, I ran away from hurt & heartache in North Carolina and into the arms of the University of Alabama. That quote became my anthem, and even more so as the Lord began breathing redemption & new life into my bones through the community I found in Tuscaloosa.
Those words were so easy to say then. It was like I had left a spiritual wasteland and come into a Promised Land of sorts.
Four years later, I hear those words again and I am literally weeping. Straight up ugly tears. Because what I'm leaving behind is just so good and so beautiful that I'm finding it hard to believe in the "far better things." Could it really be better?
An unwavering YES wells up in my soul as my mind tries to quiet it down. But the yes always wins…because I know. I've experienced it. I've tasted and seen that the Lord is good, therefore I can trust that where He takes me is good.
The tension of the in-between time is never a particularly fun place to be. For me recently, it's looked more like a desert than anything…and that's been an answer to prayer (is that weird?). My college pastor once prayed me into a desert. I was angry about that one at first, but later I discovered deep joy in the Spirit because of it. I found myself repeating his prayer after I came home from training camp and in this time before I launch.
"May you continually lead her to the desert until the myth of her self-sufficiency crumbles."
Having that prayed over you is like a stab to the heart (but one that I am so thankful for now). Praying it for yourself hurts a little more, but there's such beautiful purpose in a desert season. It hurts. It's not easy. My pride has been confronted and struck down again and again. My insecurities have been exposed. My lack of faith has been made obvious. A desert may be a desert, but it can bring incredible amounts of healing and hope. This morning as I sat with Jesus, my spirit stirred within me.
"It's time."
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I head to Atlanta in 3 days for some additional training before we go, and like I said before – in 7 days I'll be boarding a plane! Crazy that we're finding ourselves FINALLY at this point! Here are some ways you can be a part of this journey…
1 – PRAYER
This is the biggest and greatest way you can be involved in this next year. Please subscribe to my blog HERE to ensure you get my updates from the field! As you subscribe to this blog, I also add you to a personal email list that I will use to send extra little updates as we get internet (it's like a behind the scenes perk!)
Be in prayer for me, my team, and my squad as we are saying our last "see-you-laters" and begin our 11 months of World Racing!
2 – FINANCIAL SUPPORT
If you haven't noticed the cute little fundraising bar on top of my blog, notice it! With the added cost of travel insurance, I am still in need of a little more than $7000 to be fully funded. If you'd like to partner with me financially, click you can donate online HERE (or by clicking the link on the left side of my blog). You can make a one-time donation, or you can choose to become a monthly supporter. If you choose to give monthly, set the ending date to March 1, as that is my final deadline!
You can also send a check to:
Adventures in Missions
PO Box 534470
Atlanta, GA 30353-4470
Make the check out to Adventures in Missions and put "MurphreeChelsey" in the memo line!
3 – ENCOURAGEMENT!
Send me some love! Comment on my blog and say hello…or use the nifty "Contact Me" link to shoot me a fun little email. I will LOVE it. So much. Because I love YOU.
