I am generally speaking a highly cautious person. I find it essential to assess and evaluate the risks of new situations. Sometimes I can be talked into taking risks and trying new things depending on what it is. I’ve gone volcano boarding, cliff jumping, parasailing, and zip lining. It’s not that I’m afraid of ALL things, but I do tend to live on the cautious side of life.
As I child I took swim lessons and I consider myself a strong swimmer. I was on a swim team for a few years and when I was marathon training I swam laps as part of my cross training. I am very comfortable swimming in lakes and pools not necessarily in deep ocean water with gigantic waves. In Costa Rica I was swimming in the ocean in water over my head. The tide was high and I was not prepared for a giant wave that came over me and I got pulled under by a wave. It terrified me to swim in deep ocean water because I didn’t want to experience that ever again. I decided from that point on that swimming in ocean water was best experienced in knee deep water.
Today for our adventure day we had the opportunity to go snorkeling at a beautiful beach near our ministry site. I put on the snorkel mask and was swimming around in water where I could still touch the ground. I was seeing some coral, but nothing too exciting. My team was waving at me to come further out and experience what they were seeing. A cautious voice in my head told myself I better not. At the same time I knew I wanted to enjoy snorkeling with my team so I swam out further and it felt safe because the waves were not very intense. I looked around and marveled at the beauty, color, and schools of fish I saw. The experience of snorkeling far exceeded my expectations and my mind was blown at the beauty I saw.
Swimming back into shore I realized I am hesitant to try new things because I am focused on the risks. I can get so caught up in the risks in life that I miss out on the beauty of what can be experienced by trying something new. It would have been comfortable to go snorkeling in the shallow water when there was amazing things to be seen in the deeper water.
In the same way I hesitated to swim into the deep ocean water because of my bad experience, I am learning what it means to pursue my Freedom Fighters team even though I’ve been hurt. Community living on the World Race can be beautiful, amazing, and life giving, yet at the same time community living can also be hard, messy, and complicated. I’ve experienced the beauty and heart ache of living in community with people I’ve only known for a few months on the World Race. Since being on the Freedom Fighters team I’ve gotten my feelings hurt twice and both times had to have conversations with my team about my hurt. After the second time I decided I was done with my team. Safety was broken for me twice and I didn’t want it to happen a third time. For my own safety I decided it would be in my best interest to keep to myself and do what I can to avoid getting hurt again. Choosing to pursue my team after being hurt feels a bit like swimming into deep ocean water. I have a choice to make here. I can keep to myself and do my own thing until team changes occur in Vietnam. It would be comfortable and low risk, yet I would be missing out on the abundance that the Lord can do through the Freedom Fighters. God may have some incredible things in store for this team if I choose to say yes to community even when it’s hard and even though I’ve been hurt. It will be an exciting adventure to see what the Lord has in store for the Freedom Fighters.
Fundraising update: Thanks to the generosity of family and friends I have $14,878 of the $18,200 I need to be fully funded. If you have done already done so, would you prayerfully consider partnering with me with a financial gift? A gift of any size is greatly appreciated.
Adventure day with the Freedom Fighters
