Coming on the World Race I knew that community living was an important aspect of the Race. When you are doing life in community you see people at their best, worst, and everything in-between. At training camp we were told community will help you grow in ways you never thought possible. Coming on the Race I was excited to live in community for a year and to see how it would grow and shape my life.
I have always believed vulnerability to be important. I heard about vulnerability from countless chapel speakers at Northwestern, my ministry classes, and church sermons. I am all for building community where it’s a safe place for people to be themselves. Mostly, I value creating a safe place for people to be vulnerable with me. I tend to think of myself as a strong independent woman and I pride myself on not needing to depend on others. It’s great when people are vulnerable with me, but being vulnerable with other people is not necessarily my style.
Week 2 of my Race I found myself opening up to my team about a struggle I’m currently walking through and I could not believe myself that I was opening up to people so soon. These four ladies still felt like strangers to me and here I was pouring my heart out to them. There are broken areas of my life I have no hesitations about sharing with others and there are those struggles that if people knew I fear they wouldn’t want anything to do with me. My team encouraged me, challenged me to embrace the way God made me, and said that our way of loving you is to begin this journey of healing with you so that it can set a new precedent for the rest of your life. I could not believe the amazing freedom that came from being honest about where I was at. I am thankful that it says in God’s word, “Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom (2 Corinthians 3:17).”
I have decided to pursue a journey of freedom. I’m learning that our struggles lose power in our life when we speak them out loud. I’m bringing my own darkness into light because it’s freeing to let others know that you don’t have it all together. I’m learning to let my team love me well as imperfect and broken as I am. I’m learning it is ok to let others into your weaknesses. Healing is not an overnight fix, but a journey worth pursuing. I’m learning that healing is a marathon and not a sprint. It’s a scary, weird, uncomfortable, worthwhile journey and I’m eager to hear what God has in store for me in this season.
Prayer request: We had a great debrief as a squad and will begin doing ministry in Nicaragua on Monday. Please pray that we would be the sweet aroma of Christ to all who we come in contact with.
Fundraising update: I have $13,400 of the $18,200 I need to fundraise for my trip. If you have not already done so would you prayerfully consider partnering with me with a one time or a monthly financial gift? A gift of any size is greatly appreciated.
