This month has been far more difficult than I thought it would be.
Transitioning from Indonesia to the Philippines was harder physically, mentally, and spiritually than I thought it would be.
In the first month of the Race the Lord showed me how I was seeking validation from others about my relationship with him. I then went through the process of realizing who I was in Him again.
I left Indonesia feeling confident. I left feeling like I had accomplished something wonderful.
Then we got to debrief in the Philippines.
There we spent a night being incredibly vulnerable with our whole squad. We asked the Lord to reveal some of the lies we believed about ourselves. Here’s what I got…
You believe you are unworthy and that you’ll never be good enough. It’s not true, but the deep roots need to come up.
This was crushing and I shared it through tears with my squad. It’s incredibly difficult to admit to people that deep down you don’t view yourself as someone who is worthy.
The Lord has taken me on the process of realizing who I am in Him many times. He always seems to circle it back around and I didn’t understand why it never stuck until he revealed that deep seated lie.
I finally understood this lie went to my very core. It had been smothering all the truth God was speaking over me.
I asked the Lord in month one what this season of my life looked like and he told me: patience, persistence, and being present. I had no idea these things were to be directed at myself.
You see, I have this problem of wanting quick fixes. I want problems to be solved quickly and to stick. But that’s not how it works when you’ve got a lifetimes worth of lies attacking the very core of who you are.
Understanding your identity in Christ takes more than a day. It takes speaking truth over yourself every single day. It takes being patient with yourself because finding your true identity is not an overnight fix.
However, if you sow the seeds of truth you will always reap a bountiful harvest.
Since being in the Philippines I have spent a great deal of time speaking truth over myself and my identity.
I spoke with Megan, one of our squad leaders, about the process of finding our identity. She told me that while it is a process, at some point we must pick up, wear, and walk with the backpack we’ve filled with truth. Although it might not feel right at first as we walk along and keep adjusting the backpack, eventually it will fit properly.
So, I am not who I thought I was.
Here’s some truth about me and every other child of God:
We are all so much more than the lies we have been told.
The Lord says something different about us and his words are truth.
Know this: you mean everything to God. He loved you enough to die for you. There is no question about your worth because Jesus died to show you just how worthy you are.
I encourage you all to pick up, wear, and walk with your backpack full of truth. Knowing who you are, who God has called you, changes everything. Keep pressing in, my sweet friends.
With great love,
Chels
