It’s true that time with the Lord transforms your heart.
Let me tell you about launch. It was a lot of sitting, preparing, listening, panicking, worrying, and praying. There were countless hours spent in sessions, learning about what on earth we would face the next 11 months. Well, it just so happens that majority of the time we will not know what we will face until we actually come face-to-face with it, fully immersed in the culture. So what does that mean for me? A human that fears the unknown? A human that likes to feel comfortable in her surroundings? Yeah, it means utter chaos in the brain. It means doubting, overthinking, and a whole ton of negativity. In the last few days, I felt a serious anger toward the Lord for calling me into something like this. Why would God ever think I could go on the World Race when He knows that I fear everything that the World Race is?
My excitement that I had right before launch quickly took a 180 toward anxiousness. My nerves completely got ahold of my mind, my words, and my actions. I was not acting like a daughter of the Almighty, living God. I was acting and responding exactly how the devil wanted me to. My squadmates’ encouragement around me created a safe environment for me to really dissect what was truly happening. I felt convicted as I had yet to seek the Lord’s comfort and guidance. A valuable lesson I have learned about conviction is that conviction should spark change not guilt. So the next day, I woke up earlier to open up my Bible and find solace in the Lord. No surprise, I found what I was looking for.
It’s true that time with the Lord transforms your heart. I felt His peace overwhelm my soul, and my perspective toward this whole thing changed. I learned that my fears are not things to hide from, but the Lord desires for my fears to be overcome through His strength in me. I do not have to let my fears make decisions for me anymore. I am declaring that in Jesus’ name, my fears do NOT have power over me.
I am about to embark on this crazy journey. My pack is heavy with fear, but I am confident that Lord will help me to drop those fears after each month. I want to encourage you to open up your Bible, pray, and worship. Spend time with your Creator because He has greater plans for your fears and anxieties than just hiding them. Let Him transform your heart for there is nothing more amazing.
