We recently watched the movie Wonder, and then discussed the some quotes from the movie with women at the women’s prison. This was not my first experience at a women’s prison, as I had gone to one in Nicaragua. I thought I kind of knew what to expect, but it ended up being completely different than my previous experience.
The way the exercise worked is that we split into groups and discussed the quote we were given as a group. Then each group shared their thoughts with the other groups. My group received this quote: “Be kind, because everyone is fighting a hard battle.” One of the women talked about being kind with our words and actions, even if the other person isn’t kind back. I knew what the quote meant to me, but as everyone began to share, the quote took on a deeper meaning. I became convicted about my tendency to judge people who are different than me.
These women are not bad people. Yes, they have all done bad things and found themselves in bad situations. But as many of them shared, I realized they are not bad people at their core. They are simply women who want to be loved and encouraged just like every other woman in the world. Just like me. I am not a bad person either, even though I have done bad things. I have no room to judge any of these women because of their bad choices, as if them being in prison makes their sins greater than mine. Even if I am being kind on the outside, judging someone, even if it’s only inside, is not kind. Yet as the quote says, we should be kind to others because everyone is fighting a hard battle. I want people to be kind to me. I don’t want people to know my mistakes and then judge me based on those.
Why would I choose to do that to these women???
One of my teammates was in another group with another quote. The quote says, “Your deeds are your monuments.” She proclaimed to these women that the monuments they have built with their bad deeds can be torn down. They can make the choice to build new monuments. They do not have to be forever defined by the mistakes they made. I cannot judge someone based on a mistake, because by doing that I am saying that they are defined solely by that mistake. I am saying that they cannot change. God has redeemed me and my past mistakes, and He can do the same for each of the women in that prison. He is doing that for many of them already.
Another quote from the movie says, “Auggie can’t change the way he looks. Maybe we can change the way we see.” People can’t change the fact that they have made mistakes…but I can change the way that I see. I can choose to look for new monuments instead of focusing on old ones. I can choose kindness instead of judgment. So, that’s what I’m going to do!
