“Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart’s desires.” -Psalm 37:4
The past few days I have been struggling with insecurity. I have felt inadequate and like I didn’t belong on the Race. I was sinking into a pit of withdrawing into myself so I wouldn’t burden others. I needed to talk through what I was going through, and I was seriously missing my mom because she is the person I typically turn to when I am back home. I felt like I couldn’t talk to my teammates, because my insecurity was telling me they would judge me. This meant I was trying to work through it on my own with God.
God knows what I need; He knows the desires of my heart, and He cares about them.
One of my teammates had given me feedback the night before, and I had kind of faked my way through it, but my perception of what she had said just added to my insecurity. So yesterday, she asked me about how I had taken her feedback, and I ended up opening up about how I had been dealing with insecurity for the past few days. I had preached a sermon the night before about walking away from shame and into freedom, and we talked about how although I could teach other people about living in freedom, I wasn’t taking my own advice. I talked with her about how I knew my perception of things was not reality, but I didn’t know how to overcome that. She mentioned that she felt I could encourage the people on my team, which echoed what our mobilizer told me before we even launched. That was very affirming that it was God speaking to me. My teammate challenged me to put the words I spoke into action, as well as encourage others (and in turn, encouraging myself).
This talk was a breakthrough moment for me. I broke down a wall I had built by being vulnerable with one of my teammates. I truly believe God told my teammate to talk to me because He knew that’s what I needed at that moment. He saw the desire in my heart and He provided it!
