Yep, it’s Month 11, my last month on the World Race. Yep, I can’t believe it either. It feels like just yesterday I was boarding the plane for El Salvador, and now I just got off the plane in Indonesia. That girl was scared to death, so unsure of herself, so insecure and anxious. This girl is completely different, caterpillar turned butterfly, at peace with the unknown (but yeah, still nervous too).
Am I ready to go home? Yes and no. I am SO ready to see my family and friends! I am SO ready to snuggle with my cat! I am SO ready to eat good ‘ol southern food (Chick-fil-a and Cracker Barrel here I come) and eat my mom’s cooking! I am SO ready to have a closet of clothes to choose from, wear shoes that aren’t chacos, and have new underwear! I am SO ready for a lot of things back home.
But on the flip side, I am so NOT ready to leave these strangers I now call family. I am so NOT ready to not be challenged and encouraged everyday. I am so NOT ready to give feedback to people who don’t know what feedback is. I am so NOT ready to explain everything to everyone, to be bombarded by all that is America, to not be surrounded by people who can relate to me so well.
I am SO ready, but I am so NOT ready.
You’re probably wondering what’s next. Yeah, me too! Truthfully, I have no idea! I am hoping to go to discipleship school in January, but the next 6 months are completely up in the air. And you know what??? I am OK with that! Wow, that’s weird to say and feel. God has yet to reveal to me what my next step is when I return home, and I am choosing not to plan and research and figure things out. That was what the old me would do, but I don’t want to go back to the old me. I’m not that girl anymore. The new me is choosing to trust in the Lord, to trust in His timing, to wait and be at peace in the waiting. I declare this over myself and my life and my future,“I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord. Be strong and take heart, and wait for the Lord.” (Psalm 27:13-14)
Next up: Month 12?!?!
