Today, Jesus broke my heart for Burma. We had to do a visa run. But we also prayer walked for about an hour before returning. As soon as we walked over the bridge from Thailand to Burma (Myanmar), the atmosphere changed. My head began to ache. I felt very nauseous. My chest was heavy. We were told that a Buddhist Monastery was nearby. Two of our local friends lead the way. As we approached the monastery, I sensed things as my headache worsened and my chest felt even heavier.
I mentioned to Hilary how I was feeling. I told her, “I’m choosing to believe it’s the way the Holy Spirit is showing and telling me how to intercede”. And yes, there’s probably some spiritual warfare going on too.
I take off my shoes as we enter the monastery. There are gold, pyramid-like towers everywhere. Different idols can be seen sporadically throughout the area. I find the words, “I’m calling my people”, be voiced. Melanie turns to me and tells me it’s hard to breathe. I agree. I walk past a rather large idol, and a building where a large replica of Buddha is found. Another idol has incense burning, which has become an all too familiar smell.
As I walk by, my heart starts to race. I see two kids running around, laughing as they chase each other, with the classic thanikha paint on their faces. My heart begins to break. Hilary approaches me and asks me again, “How are you feeling”? I simply shake my head, as tears begin to fall. They come from nowhere. I even ask Hilary, “Why am I crying“? As the tears continue to pour out, I hear a sob break through. It’s my voice. But I can’t stop. The sobs are uncontrollable, and I begin to hyperventilate. As Hilary begins praying, I find myself saying, “I’m okay. God is good. God you reign”. As I begin to breathe normally again, Hilary asks me what I’m feeling. I tell her, “I have no idea. But I am so dizzy, and it’s not because I need to drink water”. She and I stood there and we continued to pray.
I have never felt a spiritual battle that strong before. Hilary shared with me, later, that I was actually swaying too. As our team left the monastery, my whole body began to feel the weight being lifted. Although I felt a little better, there was still a considerable amount of darkness around.
Eventually we crossed back over to Thailand. But before going “home” we wanted to explore a little bit of “No Man’s Land”. This area is a strip of land that belongs to neither Thailand, nor Myanmar. The darkness was still there, but it wasn’t as strong. Here I at least felt a sense of hope, whereas, on the Burmese side, I felt hopelessness. It was almost lifeless.
The words, “I’m calling my people”, continued to run through my mind. God, Himself is broken for the people of Myanmar. Maybe, my tears were God’s, trying to show His grief over the Burmese people. He is calling His people. He’s just waiting for them to respond.
