I know what you’re thinking. Wait! Didn’t she already write about this? And, no you’re not losing your mind. I have blogged about receiving boldness and authority previously. And it frequently comes up in my conversations with teammates and leaders throughout these past 8 months. What can I say? God is definitely trying to share something with me.
Some of my teammates, at the beginning of each month, share a word the Lord gave them. It’s usually a promise He’s given for the coming month. I however have received the same word every month, or rather two words. However, it’s not because I haven’t heard him since the end of month 1. No, it’s completely opposite. The Lord is actually taking me deeper each month, as He shows me what it means to walk in boldness and authority.
For example, during my first debrief at the end of month 1, I found myself in Baños, Ecuador. I was already sensing the discernment God had given me 6 years before on an AIM trip to the Amazon Jungle in Peru. So as I walked the streets of the small but touristy town of Banos, I could sense the darkness. I’m thinking, “Am I ready for this”? And that’s when God reminded me, “You do not walk in the darkness. You do not walk in fear, for I have given you my authority over these things”. I won’t lie, my initial reactions were along the lines of, “What?!” and “why me”? But that was only the beginning. Having boldness and authority was something I knew was given from God, but I didn’t fully believe in myself that I actually possessed the boldness and authority.
Month 3 in Bolivia, my whole team was unknowingly being spiritually attacked, especially during the nighttime hours. On one particular evening, I was awoken and felt so much fear. It reminded me of when I was a child when I’d have nightmares only I was actually awake. I recall snapping my eyes shut and I began to pray silently. I even found myself quoting scriptures and singing songs silently. After a several minutes, I finally convinced myself that I was safe, my team was safe, and nothing could harm us. This is also the month I finished memorizing Ephesians 6:10-20, and I would find myself quoting this scripture before bed, and when I woke up in the morning.
As we continued into India during month 4, I was beginning to believe that I do in fact have boldness and authority. My prayer life was quickly becoming more intense. After a sudden accident on our squad, I remember locking myself in the kitchen where we were staying, and literally crying out to God, “What am I supposed to say? Where do we go from here?” That night and the following night, I prayed some of the boldest prayers I have ever prayed. And with that, God gave my team visions, all of which were connected. A part of me left India thinking, “So, that just happened”.
Over the course of the next few months the Holy Spirit continued to press on me: boldness and authority. My response was, “Okay God, I know it to be true, I believe it to be true. So why are you giving me these words again”? His response: “You know it. You believe it. Now walk in it”. Going into month 5, I as well as my squad had no expectations. We honestly didn’t know what was to come, other than team changes. With many unexpected good byes, and uncertainty of where the Lord would place P-Squad, we put our trust in Him. We spent the end of month 4 debrief and extra week in Hyderabad, as Nepal had suffered the devastating 7.8 earthquake just days before our flight there. We never imagined being placed there so soon after. But we were. And we definitely did not expect to live through more than aftershocks. But we did. After a 7.3 earthquake literally shook us, and the mountains of Nepal, I had to remind myself that I still had boldness and authority.
After our squad’s impromptu debrief in Malaysia, I began picking myself back up again. By the end of month 6, I was beginning to walk in the boldness and authority that I came to know so well. From being spiritually attacked as a team, to stepping outside of my comfort zone to share the Gospel, it was clear: I’m walking in boldness and authority.
Last month I found myself praying through the border of Burma. I watched and experienced the battle between heavenly and demonic realms. But I did not falter.
Now, here we are in month 8. We just had our next to last debrief. And when asked what the Lord has for me this month, I just smiled: boldness and authority. However, the Lord is adding on to what He’s teaching me. Let’s review:
Months 1-3: Know that you have boldness and authority through Christ.
Months 3-5: Believe that you have boldness and authority through Christ.
Months 5-7: Walk in your boldness and authority through Christ.
Months 7-?: Now…do it with confidence!
So that is my “homework” for the rest of the Race. And I know God will give me other things too. But I must finish the Race not just with perseverance, but I must walk in the belief and knowledge that I have boldness and authority, and do it confidently!
Continuing praying as we’ve entered our 8th month on the Race in Cambodia. My team is working the capital Phnom Penh. We will be working with the large university just across the street from us. We also plan to spend a week in a rural village about 1 1/2 hours away. Cambodia has had some very dark, oppressive years. But Jesus is here! Pray the light bursts forth!
(To the right is a picture near Choeung Ek Killing Fields. Home to the Khmer Rouge Genocides that began in 1975. I’ll admit, I was very oblivious to the history of Cambodia. Our hosts encouraged us to take the tour, in order to understand the people of Cambodia more fully).
