I’ve been home almost one year. Throughout the journey of coming home I find myself reflecting on the year 2015 often. I can look back at every month of my Race, 1 through 11, and multiple somethings the Lord taught me come flooding in like waves crashing on the sand. Just how the waters of the deep, in their steady, unfailing rhythm of the tide, turn the hard, stubborn rocks into sand, so the Lord did to my heart.
Some of you who are considering going on the World Race are staring at blogs, photos on Instagram and stories shared on Facebook in wide-eyed wonder. You see Racers jumping off of waterfalls in Zimbabwe, riding elephants in Thailand and playing with children in the streets of Eastern Europe. But, for the ones reading who’ve been on the World Race, you know, just like every good story, it is fraught with obstacles to overcome, trials, and pain.
If I could sum up the World Race in one phrase it would be: “An invitation to the painful deep.” It may seem odd to describe the experience of the World Race as a painful one, but you can’t change nothing without suffering and you can’t find something thats been found before. God used the journey of the World Race to put me face to face with my brokenness and He showed me the necessity of pain in my life, which allowed me to find my purpose. That’s how the World Race changed my life.
I believe that everything in the physical is represented in the spiritual. The World Race is a physical journey that uniquely allows you to plummet, heart first, into the spiritual. As I traveled to some of the most physically broken places I had ever seen, I was forced to look at my own brokenness. As I traveled around the Globe, I traveled into the recesses of my heart. His eyes are always on our hearts and in order for me to see what He saw I needed to have a fresh look at the broken places within myself.
The day the Lord showed me this revelation, I was in Zambia, Africa. I had been praying that He would take me deeper. That could mean a plethora of things, but all I knew was that I wanted more. As I was praying He began to show me the necessity of pain in my life. If I wanted the deep, the more God had for me, it would require pain, and my whole life I had been avoiding it. There were things He wanted to heal in me, but I had shut Him out. There were places I was wrong, but it was easier to blame other people. There were things He wanted to give me, but I had to let go of things I had held on to for far too long first. My avoidance of pain allowed my subconscious to mandate my life, instead of allowing the Holy Spirit to lead.
Going on the World Race allowed me, for the first time, to come face to face with all the painful things I had knowingly, and unknowingly been avoiding. That day in Zambia, He showed me this verse in Hebrews 12:10b-11 “…but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” The World Race allowed me to be trained by my pain. I realized that day that we must go through painful things to partake in His Holiness. If we are heirs of Christ we must share in his sufferings so that we may also share in his glory (Romans 8:17).
I can look back at that day in Zambia, Africa and see how it changed everything else. This was the key that unlocked my heart, instead of building walls to “protect” it. The Lord began to heal things in me and it freed me to become who he created me to be, to be able to walk in the fullness of the purpose and calling that he was leading me to.
Coming home, one of my most frequent prayers has been, “ God, keep me from my comforts.” I ask him often if there’s any place(s) I’m avoiding pain, living by seeking comfort instead of vulnerability, asking him if there’s anything I’ve done that breaks his heart. I no longer avoid the painful places, but I seek them out.
What have you been avoiding that he wants to speak to? Where are you living out of your comforts instead of diving into the mystery of God? What is He asking you to do that seems impossible? Don’t let fear rule and confine your heart to a life of safety, but I urge you, take the plunge and allow the Father to the speak to things you’ve been protecting and avoiding. He’ll change your life, I promise. I don’t want my heart to be lead and dictated by cowardice feelings of false “safety”, I want to live by the wild, unfettered and valiant heart of the Father who has shown me the path to true freedom. That is how going on the World Race changed my life.
