3 weeks ago actually.
For so so so many reasons that I don’t need to make public. A lot of it had to do with specific things we were learning in the program, the professors, and the atmosphere. I am very content with this decision.
Since leaving school, I started learning what it means to have downtime. WOW. I have ALWAYS forced myself into busyness. I love that lifestyle and it forces my mind to stay focused instead of wandering off into its la-la land of depression and loneliness. I stopped taking antidepressants in August (I was on them for a year and a ½) and have felt almost 100% mentally healthy ever since. Praise the LORD! This is all connected to my fervor for Him which has never been stronger than it is today. He is blessing me beyond my hopes and requests and I am so undeserving.
When I was very sad, I’d read through my Bible trying to find anything related to happiness.
Happy is the person who trusts the Lord. – Psalm 40:4 (I have this written over and over in my journal.)
Happy are those who respect the Lord, who want what He commands. – Psalm 112:1
Happy are those who respect the Lord and obey Him. You will enjoy what you work for, and you will be blessed with good things. – Psalm 128:1
Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, making people happy and healthy – Proverbs 16:24
What I’ve realized since I was most severely depressed is that I can’t just look for how to be happy and assume it works. Reading these verses continuously almost became useless when my worth still remained in my boyfriend at the time, friends, and busyness.
I have never been this free to do “nothing” before. God has revealed to me gifts I didn’t know I have and has given me 4 months to REALLY prepare for the World Race. For the first time in my life I have time to…
substitute teach!, scrapbook, learn guitar, make hemp jewelry, make friendship bracelets, jump on my trampoline, dry clean my comforter!, make a college photo album, organize itunes, cook/bake!, write letters, color, study French and Arabic, clean my garage, and clean my basement. Some of these are sillAy and weird, but it’s just great to have this time to reflect on the last 4 years and start this new crazy and marvelous season ahead. I’m also reading some incredible books: World Religions, Storm Warning, Crazy Love, No Reason to Live, For Women Only, The Signature of God, Why So Many Gods?, With, and more.
I give this time up to God and it's gonna rock. I've said this before, but here it is again: The Lord is close to the broken-hearted, hurt is the path to reconciliation, suffering produces endurance, He has put a new song in our mouths! Amen.
If the Lord had not helped me, I would have died in a minute. – Psalm 94:17
God is not a God of confusion but a God of peace. – 1 Corinthians 14:33
It was good for me to suffer so I would learn your demands. – Psalm 119:71
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death,
sadness, crying, or pain, because all the old ways are gone. Revelation 21:4
