Agggghhhh(thats the first thing that popped in my head)
My post tonight is on a rather frustrated note. I am really struggling with my routine life at home. My world has become very humdrum. The Daniel fast is not as difficult of a transition for me as it is for my cohort. With the fight of food depravation set aside, I keep catching myself losing any real sense of focus. The devil sees how easily I can fall back into an scatter brained existence… and I don’t want it to happen.
I started out this fast with my head held high. I was so ready to be vegan and so ready to hear a new divine message from the Lord. Unfortunately, things aren’t going as well as I was expecting (I know, I’ve gotta let them go!). Already being a vegetarian, not eating animal products isn’t really that hard for me. I’m not whimpering at the sight of a cheeseburger or crying at the thought of a milkshake. My life is starting to slide back into its normal function and I am starting to get restless.
With a restless nature I can start to lose my grasp, leading to a right serious mess and an unfortunate lack of direction. I start to slip and fall into a strange and uncomfortable lifestyle that I don’t really like being in. I begin to latch onto things I don’t even really enjoy. My attention span begins to spread extremely thin. My ability to pay attention and get anything done will almost completely disappear. If I don’t have something Christ-centered to occupy myself with, I can really start to forget what I should be doing and latch onto what I find most readily available.
Unfortunately for me, my life pre race has a little too many free hours. As I am currently waiting for my school year job to begin, my free time is a little too immense. With my thoughts bouncing from place to place, I become snared by the allure of the modern world. I try to resist all of the flash and favor of modern gizmos and gadgets, but sometimes you just can’t help yourself! I keep catching myself wasting all these extra moments with communication devices, constantly poking into the lives of others. I don’t want to bad mouth modern social networking but I do strongly dislike how invasive it can become. It absolutely drives me nuts retreating into the electronic based life of a modern American. Every moment I sit in front of a screen I feel like I’m whittling away a little piece of my sanity.
After driving myself up the wall, I knew I needed another hard slap in the face. My soul is absolutely yearning for a challenge from the Lord and He really hit me with a good one. I will continue the Daniel fast until the 25th, but, as an added bonus, I am not going to using any modern communication based technology until September 15th. I will post a blog if the Lord asks me to, but I will be using snail mail and house phones until next month.
This may seem a little odd to all of you but I am really going to be faced with a seriously rough ride. I truly believe that the devil uses the accessibility of technology to cloud my vision for the Lord. Satan knows my attention is easily scattered when my time is free. I am going to use this next month to really focus my heart and my head on Jesus and our upcoming mission together.
muchas gracias mis amigos. te amo muy mucho!
