so sorry everyone!
i apologize for not posting on a more regular basis but i have been a busy lady. the life of a missionary can sometimes mimic that of a roller coaster/whirlwind and that can make it a little difficult to get my hands on a stable internet hour. craziness aside, it is high time i finished what i started.
as previously mentioned, a good friend of mine hit me with quite a few things they had noticed about my particular mindset. thinking that i knew myself all too well, i didn’t really enjoy having someone smack me with a new (and harsh) dose of reality. i had been asking to be challenged just as much as i challenged the alleged person… i just wasn’t totally ready for what was coming. the basic premise (in list form) went mostly like this:
- you tend to control and dominate conversations
- you don’t seem to be completely appreciative of other people’s opinions
- you can sometimes become pompous and walk around with an undeserved sense of entitlement
- you can sometimes use your intelligence to belittle others
whoa whoa whoa. those are four seriously tough pills to swallow about yourself. i am usually the person who is so observant and aware of everything that i assume i have it all together. getting this thrown at me was like being hit with several tons of bricks. i will admit, i did not initially appreciate what was coming out of my friends mouth. my thoughts were continuously spinning: who does this kid think they are? where on earth do they come up with this stuff? God, how on earth can someone say these things about me? how can someone questions my thoughts and words when i know how to discern when they are coming from You?
the answers came like a karate chop to my frontal lobe: your friend told you these things because they desire for you to grow in your walk with Me. your heart is hurting because you are starting to realize you cannot figure everything out on your own. it is high time you realize that you cannot control the changes that will happen in your life. you do your best to control our conversations and it is time for you to truly listen to Me. it is time for you to hand it all over so that you can fulfill your purpose I have created for you.
WOW. if that doesn’t make you want to rethink everything then i don’t know what will. i initially didn’t even want to process this massive message, but i know it all landed in my thoughts for a higher calling. i am growing so much every day and i owe it all to the Lord. it is high time we all learned to hand it all over and give control to the one who truly controls everything. i want to leave you with a final question: what will happen when you give up your control?
i will post again soon. te amo mucho!
