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  • February 14th 2019.
    Here’s one for the boys.
     
    •This Valentine’s Day was by far the best one I’ve ever had. I’ve never really been a fan of Valentine’s Day because it’s “The day of love”. A big part of my testimony, I was told from a young age I wasn’t pretty enough, good enough or worthy of love, which makes Valentine’s Day hard for me.
     
    •Since becoming a Christian I’ve learned through Christ those things aren’t true. I’ve learned that I am worthy of love and I am enough the way I am; however, that one day a year comes around when I feel like I’m not worthy of love because I don’t have “someone” saying or showing that they love me by a sweet gesture, or kind words.
     
    •In the past I’ve always had my parents around for Valentine’s day. They’ve always done an amazing job at making me feel loved and cared for, but I still wanted someone other than “family” to love me well.
    In the past I dated a guy who didn’t love me well…he actually didn’t love me at all which made Valentine’s Day painful to go through. It made me have the question of ‘Why am I not good enough, why can’t I be loved’.
     
    •This year I wasn’t feeling pretty. For the first time in a long time since starting the race I put makeup on and curled my hair, trying to make myself feel pretty, yet I didn’t. After coming home from ministry my team and I found a note on our door. The note was our invention to a Valentine’s dinner & dance. On the note it said to be ready by 5:30 to be escorted out to dinner.
     
    •5:30pm
    I was escorted to my seat by Philip and was told I looked beautiful. He didn’t know it, but what he said started the beginning of my valentines hard hearted wall to crumble.
     
    •6:00pm
    Ordering dinner. I had the choice of a red sauce or white sauce for my spaghetti topping that the men had made for us. While Caleb asked me what I wanted I began to cry. In that moment I was so overwhelmed with Joy, Peace, Comfort, and Love. I began to pray and ask God why I was crying and He answered me with “Your heart has been hurt since your last valentines with that boy, you settled for little. I’m showing you what you deserve. Don’t settle for any man who doesn’t go over, above and beyond for you”.
     
     
    So here’s one for my boys. Thank you for caring for me so well and making it a night to remember. Thank you for all loving me unconditionally. Thank you for speaking life into me. Thank you for being men after Gods own heart like David was. Thank you for calling me higher.Thank you for making me laugh.