I’m home!
It’s been my first week back since coming home off of the field, and what a whirlwind it has been. I’ve been seeing my family. Friends. Work. Working out. Playing with Clarkey-poo. Freaking out about how much gas costs now. And much, much more. Life has been crazy, but the good kind of crazy. I’ve been catching myself not making time for my ‘quiet time’ which really sucks. Through me not taking that time out of my day to spend with the Lord, I have found myself numbing out by go, go, going, which was what my problem before I left on the race. The last thing I want is to regress my intentional time with the Lord.
While I was in Cambodia. My last week to actually be in Cambodia. I attended a bilingual church with some of the people I had been working with at the English school. Now, I don’t know if any of y’all have ever attended a bilingual church before or not, but this one I went to, I didn’t understand much of anything. So, during my time there I decided to pray and listen to what God had to offer or to ask of me.
You know those days when you’re in a romantic mood? Nothing crazy, but you wanna snuggle up on the couch with someone. Or watch a cheesy chick flick where the guy ends up getting the girl. Or when you’re in need of a really long hug because it’s been long overdue? Well, that was the mood I was in when I was at church that last week of Cambodia. Without thinking about it
(while I was praying)
I told God ~
“Lord I want to be romanced, I want to feel special and wanted. I want to be romanced”.
It felt as if before I even finished my thought process of wanting to be Romanced the Lord said to me,
“Let me romance you, Beloved”.
While I was in Thailand, I really struggled with body image. I was tired of only having four shirts and three pairs of pants. I felt nasty and the least bit beautiful. I was trying to find something ‘cute’ to wear out because I didn’t want to look like a slob. After having my little meltdown with what to wear Aidyn, one of my teammates asked me to go down to the beach with her. At first, I was hesitant to go but then decided it couldn’t hurt to go, so I went. As soon as we got our toes in the sand and walked along the shore line the sun began to set, which created the most beautiful sunset I think I’ve ever seen. All the rage and sadness I had about my body image had dissipated. I had no heaviness inside my chest. I could breathe again. I had a grin from ear to ear and was in complete peace within myself.
“Let me Romance you, Beloved”.
Immediately after hearing that in the back of my head I began to give thanks to God for the work He was doing around me, and within my heart.
Since that day in Thailand, I’ve gained a new understanding of the word romance and what it means to be romanced. It’s not just about the tangible things like snuggles and chick flicks. It’s more so about the caring of one’s heart. Making them feel seen in the way that makes them feel loved. Without making them feel like they have to prove themselves worthy of the love they are so freely given. We’ve all heard that our God is the God of peace, comfort, and love. I’d like to emphasize on the love part. It is through Gods love and grace that we have the privilege of getting to experience Godly romance. He so desperately wants to feed our hearts desires by showering us with little romantic things. For me, God knew that I needed to have my toes in the sand and see a beautiful sunset, in order for me to understand the amount of love He has for me.
How amazing is it that our God so desperately wants to be our Romancer? Not just for a day, but for eternity!
Care for y’all,
Chase.
