"If there’s a God I screamed, 'Answer me!'
I didn’t expect an answer to be received, (when He received me)
He said: You must die, to be set free, living in the kingdom of God eternally
Open up my eyes so that I can see, and die with a cry revolutionary
Every man and woman is a witness, and we will never forget this
Truth"– Josh Garrels, SISU 2010
My friend sent me this song literally hours after I had stepped off of my final plane from the Race. Tears flowed from my face when it kissed my ear drums.
So many months before the Race, I was angry at so many people: people of my past, people of my present… but really, if I was honest, I was angry at God.
I prayed so many angry prayers of "Save me [and give me a job]" and "Provide for me [and preserve my pride so that way I won't have to eat humility and out of my parents' fridge]".
Then, The World Race came.
I fundraised. I sweat. I prayed. I found God providing for me from the relationships I had formed from the compassion He gave me through His Son. "My God," I thought, "You are there."
I learned the joy of being fed by the people you work for directly. I experienced the love of long lasting relationship in bonding over God's work.
Then the real heart surgury began.
On the Race, I could no longer push down that I "had issues" with the pain of my past. I could no longer joke off the damage I had done to the people who cared about me the most. I could no longer deny that, like Jesus said, the bitterness I carried to protect myself actually hurt me/my team/community/the ones that love me the most.
Living in a community on the race is like living next to a mirror. The thing that you try to hide, God will bring to light. On our final flight home, I was talking to none other than Jo Linda Sala (jolindasala.theworldrace.org is her blog if you are interested) when she said, "Chase, God has blessed you with wisdom."
Exposing my wounds of not feeling good enough to recieve good things from God, I quickly tried to defuse/joke-off the holiness of the moment: "Shh… don't tell nobody…" I said (making God and every English teacher cringe).
Without skipping a beat, Jo Linda (with amazing amounts of prophetic healing) said, "Chase, it's month eleven… it's not a secret anymore… we already know…"
To those who have known my brokenness for so many years, thank you for your loving patience. You are a true testiment to God's steadfastness and an instrument of the healing of my heart.
To my beautiful D squad, you have changed me in so many ways that I am only beginning to understand and comprehend. We will forever share a holy bond that cannot be shaken by distance or time. While we will change in the years to come, these 11 months together have tattooed God's image on my heart. Thank you for being nothing short of showing His ressurection in my soul.
Papa God, Thank You for being such a wild and lovely Lord. Thank You for sending me on this 11 month journey that is only the beginning of what You are doing to me. Thank You for being stronger than my doubt. Thank You for not stopping at saving me from hell, but healing my heart so that I may remember that there is a heaven that You are bringing to earth. You are the "I AM". Thank You!
"A fire wind, holy hymn, beautiful diadem, hidden within positively pure prism refraction
Every colors broken down, harmonize with my eyes spectrum
In the end bleeding into the One, to the source, to the beautiful father of light
All the pressure and pain, produces perseverance
It’s purged by the flames, without interference
Produces a hope, In the glory of God
My God I am your son, and I know that you will finish the work that you’ve begun
Homespun, grassroots, spontaneously suits the purpose, and we don’t deserve this
Life
He said
'You must die to be set free, living in the kingdom of God eternally'
Open up my eyes so that I can see, and die with a cry revolutionary
Every man and woman is a witness, and we will never forget this
Truth." –Josh Garrels SISU 2010
I am still fundraising for CGA. Would you please partner with me in this endevor to apply what I've learned on The Race to lead others to do the same?
