"…I tell my love to wreck it all
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Right in the moment this order's tall
I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
In the morning I'll be with you
But it will be a different 'kind'
I'll be holding all the tickets
And you'll be owning all the fines." — Bon Iver's "Skinny Love"
Even though I haven't even officially began The World Race, the time leading up to launch has made me wrecked for God. He has been forcing me to see where my identity lays, and if it is not with Christ in any area, He has asked me again and again to give it to Him.
Too often, when I talk to people who have lost faith because of one reason or another, they give me a very painful story in which they often conclude something to effect of, "If there is a God, He should not have let [fill in the blank] happen."
Not to downplay the hurt in people's lives, but pain is part of this life, (just ask any philosopher or my travel doctor). It entered in during the Fall. Pain is something that tells us that this life is real, with consequences. No matter how much we wish we could transend the hurt, sometimes it is the pain that grows us, that reminds us that this life is ruined by sin. It reminds us that we are not God and how much we need Him to resurrect us. It reminds us that God is here.
Suffering is something that is so evident in the gospels, I think we often overlook it. Look at John 9. (Right here, if you don't have a bible handy: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+9&version=NIV).
In this scene we see the disciples asking (paraphrased, of course), "Hey, this man was blind at birth. Was that his fault or his parents fault?"
Because we want blame. We want justice. We want someone to pay for suffering we have faced.
But Christ, (that's God in human form) says something that usually shocks all of us: "Neither, but that the works of God could be displayed in him," and He spits in mud, annoints the man's eyes with the mud, tells him to go and wash in the pool of Siloam (which means sent). And so he went and washed and came back seeing…"
It's an awesome part of the story, but someone once pointed out to me, "Great, but what about the years he spent, begging at the temple, being blind?"
As much as I love to separate myself from people in this story, I cannot help but identify with the blind beggar and the disciples. I am short fundage by at least 3k. (Thank you God and those who have supported me thus far! You are a blessing!) I don't know what I will do at the end of this race. If we don't keep a proper perspective about the suffering Lord we serve, we can get hung up on the suffering, and overlook the fruit produced by it. We end up being angry at a God who promised to resurrect us when we die for Him, not keep us from dying altogether. And He does this by creating community, by bring "thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on EARTH as it is in heaven" by being WITH us (Matthew 28:8).
So, for those of you reading this and are experiencing tough times, trust Him. For my fellow world racers, in this messy world where we are called to suffer for Christ, maybe the question you and I must ask is not "Where is God?" but "God is good. How can God redeem this pain this I experience?"
Will we let Him rub mud in our eyes to heal us in the waters called "sent"?
Will we hear him when He speaks to us in our pain?
"And I told you to be patient/and I told you to be kind/and I'm holding all the tickets/and you'll be owning all the fines".
Be patient in times of suffering. That doesn't mean wait around though… Run to Him. Run to Him in doubt, in pain, in anger, when we don't don't have all the answers. Take joy in the fact that we have Him who was raised from the dead in us and WITH us. (The one that "holds the tickets", so that we don't end up "owning all the fines".)
When He is with us, we have the power to "heal the sick, cast out demons, raise the dead".
When we see Him in our suffering, it is beautifully redeeming.
