Soul searching for me in this season has been super hard. I know that time with God is never wasted.
Relationships have always been hard for me long term… especially with God. Looking back, God and I had a relationship when I've had nothing else to depend on but Him. A lot of times I would do like most people and say, "I guess all we can do now is pray…"
I heard a pastor say that prayer should be a first response, not a last resort….
And yet, I find myself in this season praying because I have nothing left. Yes, I have very supportive family. Yes, I have a community that I thank God for daily. Yes, I have supporters that are so very generous I often pinch myself to see if I'm dreaming. I am extremely thankful for that.
But simultaneously, I find myself forgetting to pray when things are well. "I got your message God. I think I can take it from here…."
Perhaps I am learning why God wants a "broken and contrite heart" and why "blessed are the meek". I got to Georgia by blessing. I got to speak to a youth group in North Carolina about the World Race by blessing. I got to eat by blessing. I got a train ride back to Georgia by blessing. I ate the last few days by blessing.
God, I have been broken.
Father, I need You to come through.
Change my world, I trust You!
