Here’s a secret…world racers are not perfect.
Here’s an even juicier secret…our imperfections come with us on the race.
To various degrees, people who go on the World Race want to make a difference in the world. A key, yet, seemingly underlying factor is commonly overlooked: the person. The reality is: we ALL have baggage. Although deep down in a racer’s heart, all she wants to do is help people, there are factors the enemy may use to counter-act this desire.
Unknowingly, the racer begins her ministry with baggage. Interestingly enough, God begins to reveal idols in her heart, which should not be there. Quiet time after quiet time, the Holy Spirit begins to tear away at the walls and penetrate the heart to rebuild a heart God can work with.
Life is great.
After a while, once again, God requests something of her. Something she has allowed to penetrate the heart in an unhealthy way. She’s known it and has tried fixing it on her own, but the jig is up, time to surrender it at the cross. Will she do it?
Are you ready to read about the greatest sin I committed while on the race?
Let me preface this by quoting what became one of my favorite verses of Scripture on the race, Matthew 22:37…
“And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.”
I asked God to sit on the sidelines and cheer me on while I got into the game. The glory became about me. The funniest part of the story is that I got played.
God is a good father. He wasn’t going to let me go so easily.
In the Old Testament, the people of Israel beseeched God for a king. God warned them of the negative implications of having a king. They disregarded the warnings, so God gave them their king. It turned out horribly for Israel. Romans 1 talks about God allowing people to fall into their passions. Time and time again humanity seeks its own glory. The common theme here is the glory of man attempting to rob God of the glory that is rightfully His.
I didn’t know this was my pursuit until I found myself drowning in my own junk. An older lady I met with recently told me, “God has wired us to serve, but sometimes that desire becomes distorted when we are not careful to distinguish the reasons of why we serve.” Oh, what wisdom! The sin: idolatry of self.
It turns out, the very sin of self-glorification I struggled with back home, was the very sin I brought along with me on the race. The devil is sneaky though. He allowed it to manifest itself in other ways.
The craziest part about this whole thing is how the sovereignty of God plays a role in ALL of this. I can’t talk about the sovereignty of God without quoting Romans, especially verse 8:28.
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
Although, I put God on the sideline to watch me mess up what He had done in my life. He quickly called a time out to remind me of the game plan.
I do not condone sin, but as one who sins, I get it. I get that sometimes we’re blindsided, but I also cannot neglect the human responsibility associated with it.
As with anything, sin has its consequences. They can be heart wrenching, but also extremely sanctifying. I have come to accept the fact that things once in existence in my life have ceased to exist and/or are on the back burner. I cannot begin to explain the depths of intimacy, freedom, and love I have experienced with God as a result of the repentance of my sin.
Pause for a moment. Scroll up to the first part of this blog where I mention my life beginning to spiral downward. Only God could have done something so amazing like this. Only God could take my mess and turn it around.
Since that season, God has returned to His place in the game. He is my Captain. He is the star. He has my heart.
