I want to be honest, venerable, and authentic
I am not perfect; I do not have it all together, no one is
perfect, but we are accepted- accepted through the grace and love of Jesus.
So let me tell you what has been on my heart lately. I have
been missing my dad. As you may or may not know, my father got killed
tragically September 13, 2007.
Some days go by and I do my regular routine.
Some days come and my heart aches so much I feel my heart
ripping out of my chest.
I cry alone in my car, crying out to God, wondering why?
Telling God to tell my dad, I miss him and Love him so deeply and all I want is
to say goodbye.
I wonder if it will ever get easier. I wonder if randomly
for the rest of my life- I will have a deep pain to see him again and to speak
those words, “I love you daddy.”
I want to tell you how this death has changed my life.
I was only five days
in attending Lifeteams- School of urban youth outreach, when I received this
unbearable news from my sister of my father’s death. Four days after receiving
this news, we went repelling as a class; this day I will never forget, a day of
letting go but learning to grasp onto a new outlook.
My dad loved his life and it was my turn to love mine. We went
repelling and I was scared- falling back down a cliff was not really my thing. But I
remember embracing it that day. Going down and deciding to live life to the
fullest. I went down head first and yelled, “This
is for my dad”. From that day on something changed in me. I found
adventure, hope, excitement, joy and a journey.
I have learned to love adventure- I have gone caving, zip
lining, Sky diving, gone here and there and embraced each moment- I will NOT
let fear conquer me but conquer fear with Gods strength. I have done more than
I ever thought I could do.
My desire for the World Race comes from God and an inspiration of my father to
dream big and never give up. He has helped me shape my life and left a mark in
my heart. Even though he is not here, I will never forget him, letting him live
on, as an inspiration.
