Walking into the alley of bars . . .
I looked to my right – a few haggard, older guys lounging lazily in their stools. The next bar – a man with tattoos was propped at the bar, hunched over a drink. The next bar – a man with a Rufio-styled hair-cut, reminiscent of Robin William’s Hook, glances my way, a look somewhere between disgust and curiosity. The next bar – three Thai women stare intently at Kevin and me as we approach the alley’s Muy Thai boxing ring. Lapping the outside of the ring with cat calls ringing from the bar, Kevin and I are swarmed by a four women with 6-inch stilettos. One firmly grasps my wrist, smiling desperately, trying to pry the water from my hand. “Come, come!” she says with a giggle, pulling me toward the nearby couch. We make eye contact – it’s like looking at the eyes of a kid, except she’s 25 . . .
Nervously chuckling, somewhat flustered, I say, “Sorry, not tonight.”
“When you come back, huh?” she says. “Tomorrow?”
I say that I’m not sure. I know I will be around for another 3 weeks, but there is too much need and too many possibilities to make a verbal commitment. I want to stay longer. I want to make her laugh and, only for a moment, help her forget her current circumstances. I want to tell her that she is accepted, un-judged, and valued. But, I can’t stay to talk. Our team is prayer walking and Kevin and I will need some back-up, our female team-mates, before we return.
Although situations like this are challenging, they are also my favorite experiences on the race. They snap me into the present and keep me engaged – holding me beyond the grasp of the endless dialogue that fills my mind most days.
As a squad leader, much of my focus is on others. Between analyzing the squad’s growth toward our corporate vision and being attentive to those around me when taking those steps, I am constantly letting go of the mental movies and sporadic thoughts to be present. It’s not easy. It takes practice to be present while working toward a long-term vision – or be “present-future” as Graham Cooke likes to say. I believe this present-future is paramount to an effective lifestyle. It’s this ability to be present that allows us to be Jesus to others, but it’s our ability to have vision for the future that keeps us filled of hope and joy – like Jesus and “the joy set before him” on the cross. Present-future allows my team to watch the girl we were just talking walk away to spend time with the 50-year-old “John” who waved her down, yet trust that we are making progress and earning her trust. Present-future gives us hope and acknowledges that God will see things through to completion.
In my final two months of my World Race,
I spend some time each day thinking about my future. What is God calling me to next? How will I get from “here” to “there?” Because, most likely, there will be a future. But I also realize that this month, in Chiang Mai, Thailand, I am called to do nightly outreach to the women caught in sex-trafficking. And in this place, God has good works for me to do. To do these, I must be attentive and intentional.
This idea of being more present is not only my goal for this month, but my goal for 2017. Through 20 minutes of meditation (contemplative prayer) each day and answering the questions of Richard Rohr’s On the Threshold of Transformation (already on day 80 and it’s great), I want to become more mentally present with less judgment, greater awareness, and greater intentionality.
Ministering to these men and women who were purchased from their parents between ages 12 and 15, then brought to a life of prostitution, we come with no ulterior motive, only the desire to express God’s love for them through our deeds and presence. And maybe, just maybe, if they feel seen, if I can show them “I’m here with you now,” then they will begin to believe that they matter. Maybe, they will begin to feel the dignity of being human once more.
I think that’s the present, the gift, we can give to other’s by being mentally present. I think this is how we become the salt and light, the yeast that slowly penetrates the heart and restores others’ dignity.
What do you think? Please share your comments below.
Afterword:
Unfortunately, our budget this month only covers our team’s hostel and meal expenses. The costs to buy beverages and other food while conversing with the women and men at the bars is placed on us. As you can imagine, overpriced Coca-colas and Red Bulls add up over 4 weeks. We would really appreciate some extra support.
If you would like to support team’s efforts, please donate please donate via PayPal:
https://www.paypal.me/CharlesPayne/10
Thank you to my family, the vets, my friends, and my church for all your support and prayers. Please keep them coming. This is a tough ministry and it’s easy to get disheartened!
