We could not heal today. We spoke the truth and looked for faith, but we could not find it.
“And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.”
Matthew 13:58
His name is Yohanes and he has been walking through the sludge of his soul for 12 years. Two years ago, Yohanes became lost in his pain – a past filled with the needless deaths of innocent people, blackmail, and threats against his family. We spoke to him, loved him, and read him biblical truths, but we could not persuade Yohanes to forgive himself. He has agreed with and given power to the lie that he cannot be forgiven for his past actions.
“Whatever you agree with, you will give power to in your life.”
Holly Scott, April Expedition Squad Mentor
Pondering Yohanes situation, I was reminded of Jesus and the man at the pool in John 5.
Jesus saw a man who had been ill for 38-years and the first question Jesus asked him was, “Do you want to be made well?” (John 5:5-6). Why would Jesus ask such a question? If you’re sick or addicted to drugs, why wouldn’t you say “YES!”?
After 40 days in the desert, Jesus knew the temptation of pain and victim-hood. As a victim, I can blame everything on the world and other people. Victim-hood requires no responsibility or action. As my pastor Jordan Seng of Bluewater Mission once taught me (paraphrase), “The heart of Jesus’ question is, ‘Are you prepared to take responsibility for your life? Do you (REALLY) want to be healed?'” NOW I truly understand.
Let’s examine the man’s response: “Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool… and while I am making my way, someone else steps down ahead of me.” (John 5:7) Realistically, the man is blind, lame, and paralyzed, but he sounds like a victim . . . yet Jesus spots the mustard seed of faith! “while I am making my way…” That was all Jesus needed to hear! And that was all we needed to hear today!
But, no matter how many times we asked Yohanes, “Can we pray for you?” he dodged the question. We could have laid hands on Yohanes and exercised our authority with brute force. But, as Phillip Yancy says about Jesus during The Temptation, “All I can do is recall that Jesus, a single combat warrior facing Evil head-on with the power to destroy it, chose a different way.” I was staring into the face of evil. I was watching Yohanes waste away before me. And all I could do was love him.
“All I can do is recall that Jesus, a single combat warrior facing Evil head-on with the power to destroy it, chose a different way.”
Philip Yancey in The Jesus I Never Knew
God does not gives authority lightly. It is a gift from God’s love that we are to steward in the love described in Corinthians 13. I may not see Yohanes again, but I know that Yohanes means “God is gracious” in Hebrew and Yohanes will be free and healed one day. In the mean time, like Jesus, I will search for the mustard seed in every lost soul I meet, so that they will grasp how “wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.”
