…yes, there is a story behind this…a little glimpse into other ways I spend my time on the Race…
The Rebuttal – Why Love is NOT a Game ~ By: Charlene Geddes 5/8/12
While love may be equated to a game by some through certain convenient analogies such as “fouls” (referring to offenses that have taken place between two people) or “a flurry of baskets” (referring to the infatuation stage in which fun and excitement prevail), to describe love as a game actually promotes a false and opposing picture of what love actually is, and here’s why:
Consider 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 (Yes, I went there!)
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude…” (verse 4).
Love is patient; and patience is not a hallmark of games. In a game, each “player” is anything but patient. In fact, the goal of the game is often to be the first and the fastest. On the contrary to this aspiration of being “first” and “fastest”, wisdom tells us that “whoever wants to be first must take last place…” (Mark 9:35) and we all know that the goal of a game is not to be in last place. If your goal is to live out true love, in patience, a “game on” mindset will never suffice.
Love is kind. Arguably, there is nothing inherently wrong with healthy competition. However, if we look into the definition of “kind”, Webster’s Dictionary defines kind as: of a sympathetic or helpful nature. One would be hard-pressed to find any parallels between the word “kind” and the realm of sports, games and competition. In the world of snarling men poised for attack at the line of scrimmage or coarse words flung across the court when that last-straw personal foul takes place, “kind” as a descriptor leaves much to be desired! Love cannot be described as a game because the kindness found in love is not found on the court!
Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Need I explain? No athlete or friend of “the game” can tell me that they have not experienced jealousy or envy of another player’s physical agility, skills, equipment (meant in the purest of terms) or accolades. Relative to boasting and pride within the world of games, there is a whole “sport”, if you will, called “Cheerleading” with its sole objective being to pridefully boast about their team – – and even sometimes belittle the other guys – how RUDE! Love is not a game because however natural, acceptable and/or innocent it may be to act with jealousy, boasting, pride or rudeness within the parameters of a game, those character qualities do not fit within the definition of love that we are called to by the One who is love.
“It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged…” (verse 5)
Love does not demand its own way. How many times in a game do arguments erupt over rules, questionable plays, and fouls? Players often irritably demand their own way out of a spirit of entitlement based on the explicit and implicit rules of the game as well as general “fairness”. Furthermore, where are “records” kept more than in a game? “The game” is all about keeping score…conversely, in a Biblical model of love, Philippians 2:3 reminds us to be humble and God himself asks us to be imitators of Him who keeps no record of our wrongs (Hebrews 8:12).
“It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out” (verse 6)
In Kingdom values, love rejoices when truth prevails! In “the game”, rejoicing happens when the game is won. Period. We try to teach our impressionable youth about being a “good sport” and playing for the enjoyment of the game, but I cannot count the number of times I have been sharply rebuked for the idealistic thought that rejoicing can exist apart from “the win”. In competition, the losing party does not celebrate the fact that through diligent and accurate score-keeping, the truth prevailed because of the esteemed referee deeming the winner, the winner. No! This “truth” is not something that is celebrated. Love cannot be described as a game because love demands celebration of truth…negating the relevance of a win or loss in the end.
“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance” (verse 7)
Love is persistent. It is determined, tenacious and untiring. It does not switch teams, it does not trade “players” and it does not “throw in the towel”. “The game” is set on shifting ground; it is susceptible to selfishness, pride, greed, and comparison. Love, on the other hand, is set on the sure foundation of everything that is good, holy and enduring. Unlike a game which may be abandoned without thought at the first sign of disillusionment, boredom, fatigue etc., love tells us to “take a new grip with [our] tired hands and strengthen [our] weak knees…” (Hebrews 12:12). The kingdom value is commitment…covenant…it is beautiful and the very picture of God’s everlasting and sacrificial love for us.
How will we ever attain the level of “…for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health…” if the pursuit of love is rendered analogous to a fleeting game?
