To Those Longing to be Wives and Mothers
Waiting; I’ve known waiting since I broke up with my boyfriend when i was 16, and turned to the Lord. The years to follow were full of denying myself and turning to the Lord. Why? Because God asked me to. It sucked hard.
Six years of consecration from dating taught me a lot about living as a believer who is set apart, not just for something but unto something. I learned to live unto God, not just from sinful (or not so sinful) things. During those nights of loneliness, Holy Spirit taught me Who He is as the comforter.
Almost two years now of being released from my consecration, I have walked through two painful breakups and the most dreaded of unrequited love affairs. Hope deferred again and again and again. In all seasons of life we learn different things, and over these past two years the Lord has really shown me who He is as a Father and what His agenda is for the family and the orphan.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I know the pain, the sick to my stomach pain of not being loved back, not being understood, missing out on relationships, and yearning to adopt a child, but I know that I know that His banner over me is love. This phrase means that His leadership (banner) is perfect love. Love that is kind, gentle, leading me to repentance, and it casts out all fear. To that, I say, “Yes,” again to His leadership.
Mr. Waiting, you suck a lot. But, like a rubber band, we must endure the stretching that our wise Father brings into our lives. We M U S T embrace it and lean into it. In Song of Solomon it says that we will come up leaning on our Beloved from the wilderness. Trust His timing. If we are released too early we will fall limp to the ground, but when we are released in the timing of our good good Father, we are like arrows piercing the darkness.
This poem is for those who are longing to be wives and mothers. The waiting is not bad, nor the longing sinful, but rather the thinking that God is not good is. I wrote this Mother’s Day 2015 when I was praying for the Lord to bring me a husband by the end of the year. LOL. & realizing I have to bend to His timing.
“Bent to His.”
This ache inside of me
Has become a continual
Reminder of hope deferred
Embracing the weight of
It brings me lower
Lower still as I gaze
Beholding the Man
Who satisfies
The very place
Only He can
I am clothed in strength
As His song washes
Over me
Shoulders back breath in
Solidly I stand
On truth as hard
as stone
In lowliness I’m Confident
Radiant in dignity
I can do this
I am an oak Bending
only in His mercy
Love is the wind
That blows upon my heart
A tree of life
With roots that stretch
To the well that
Never runs dry
