For those of us who have flown away from the nest, we remember that first time that we were sick without mom or dad being there. I remember it quite well. It was the second month of my first semester of college, and as I was sitting on the tile floor of the bathroom in my basement apartment I knew it. I knew I was going to die…
To say the least I was being overdramatic about a simple stomach bug and some guys from my class who had a car came to my rescue with NyQuil and Sprite, and everything turned out alright.
Last night I didn’t sleep well because of the intense pain in my stomach. At precisely 7:33 this morning I groggily looked at the clock on my phone and realized the severity of the pain and the nausciousness that took up arms against my head and belly. I got up only to relieve the contents of my stomach in my hallway and went back to bed until 2 o’clock in the afternoon. I woke up wanting the popsicles that my mother would give me when sick, and the ever so popular chicken noodle soup. So I sent my roommate off on a journey to retrieve such wonderful delights with my car keys and credit card.
Both my roommates were so kind this afternoon in making me tea and heating up my soup. The one that had driven my car to the local Price Chopper offered to give me a back massage and there was no way that I would turn something as glorious as that down, so she came into my stuffy room as I hid underneath the Rocky Mountain of covers and pillows that were on top of me. She rubbed my back for what seemed like 25 years and then offered a hand massage.
Okay, it has taken me three paragraphs to get to the point of this post, and here it is.
As my roommate rubbed my Bath and Body Works lotion into my dry hands, I really started to feel this absence in my heart. It wasn’t a longing for mom anymore, but an aching for some strong man to be there with me, as he would spoon-feed me those noodles and reading the Psalms as I drift in and out of consciousness throughout the day. Just to be real with Ya’ll, I was feeling the ache of singleness.
This is one of those days that I can really feel this ache. It is so weird, but let me tell you, it is not wrong or sinful to feel the ache. Embrace the ache. I said this to my roommate as she was massaging my left hand, “I feel the ache.” It is okay to ache and dream for a day where you will be either a husband or a wife, and one day a parent. Because these are God given dreams and desires. Just because the season of being in a relationship is not for now, doesn’t mean that it is sinful to ache for it. Only when it becomes an idol, or when you start to despise your current status is when the ache actually doesn’t give glory to God. Having the ache isn’t the same as despising the ache.
Just minimize the screen right now or sit your smart phone down, and say this to Holy Spirit, “I feel this ache for delayed promises and it’s okay. God, be glorified in this.”
Don’t ignore it or stuff it down either, because it will have to come up and be dealt with sometime or another. Burying it is also a way in which we try to keep the Father out. We say that our pain is too much or too weird to talk to Him about. Seriously? If he is the One Who promised it, isn’t He the One Who will bring it to pass?
Lay the pain of delayed promises at His feet. In doing so, you are facing the ache head on and saying that it has no rule over you.
