How do I trust someone that I don’t see, but I know is there; when I feel like I can’t trust anyone? My earthly father broke his promises and was just not trustworthy. He showed me at a young age that men are not trustworthy. I have had to learn that not all men are like my earthly father. So why, oh why should I trust God? He has promised things that have not come true yet, which makes me think it is going to be like when my earthly father told me he would take me fishing and wouldn’t show up, or would stop smoking and didn’t. God told me I can have both a family and be a missionary. I just don’t see how that can happen. I feel if I keep going where God is leading me it is going to be without a family. I guess trust takes time and a deeper relationship. So God I pray over myself that you take me deeper than I could ever imagine. God I pray over myself what the woman at church prayed over me that when other women look at me they see my love for you despite my struggle to trust you at times. I want to grow into who you have called me to be no matter how scared I am. What scares me is that I feel like I have no control over my life. Yet, I know this is not true because you are God of choice. God, I am going to try to remember that I am your daughter, because I live in a world where it is easy to forget and is a daily battle. I am going to remind myself you are not like my earthly father and try to remember this truth. Abba, I know you are writing a beautiful story out of my life so I am going to try to trust you with all of my life and the promises you have laid on my heart.
