TRANSPARENCY
One of the biggest lessons I've learned on the race.
It makes life so much more intimate than we are used to and I'm finding that the value of it has unfortunately decreased in our society.
The beauty of this somewhat taboo concept is that it allows others to see the true you.
The side that holds a remarkable amount of emotion and insecurity that's built up.
The side that's just itching to come out.
This year I've learned the importance of transparency
and have been absolutely unable to retain my thoughts and emotions.
It's been incredible at this point in my life , I feel… REAL.
Almost a year of living in transparency, and here it is.. Coming to an end.
We anticipate the final days of this once unfamiliar lifestyle that we've come to love.
The excitement of what's to come afterwards intrigues us,
but in reality I feel as a whole, as a family, as an individual, as a transparent heart…
I feel an incredible sense of FEAR.
The thing that has become the familiar, the comfortable, is being taken away
and I want so badly to grab onto it.
(hear me when I say that I DO miss my friends and family dearly…)
But to live for so long with nothing to use as a comfort has become a comfort.
And at times I imagine this ending as the solid ground I've worked so hard to find crumbling beneath my feet.
My world is being turned upside down once again, going back to the life I knew before…
Only this time, I'm a different person.
The song GRAVITY by John Mayer comes to mind when I think of our journey..
Like our journey has been so amazing, it feels as if we've been around the world on a hot air balloon,
and gravity is slowly bringing us back down to the ground as our journey comes to an end…
…The reality of the inevitable hits hard…
but the truth of who God is and who He has molded me into this year remains.
Transparency.
One of the biggest lessons I have learned this year on the race.
One of the things that has created intimate friendships between my squadmates and me.
and something that has taught me priceless lessons about being a woman of God.
One of the things that has taught me about GRACE and LOVE and the healing power that they both posess.
and the greatest change in me that I will be grateful for, and carry with me for the rest of my life.
