Let's start at the beginning, shall we?
The First Glimpse
I remember being around ten years old and being surrounded by tables full of information from missionaries all over the world in the middle of the church's atrium. I felt alive, I felt inspired, and I felt enlightened.
Two years later I befriended my first international missionary. He hung out with the youth group during mission's week and I thought he and his family were the coolest people to walk the face of the planet. I emailed back and forth with them dreaming and talking of visiting them in Mexico as a 12 year old. The trip didn't happen, but the passion was reassured.
The Light at the end of the Dark Ages of Middle School
These years were tough as they are for most. I was praised for my attendance and involvement at church and at school in things pertaining to the Lord, but it wasn't real. My life was far from the Lord, but I didn't know. I was empty and trying to fill it with anything the world had to offer, but nothing satisfied.
At the end of 8th grade I went to Centrifuge, a camp, with my youth group. During worship one evening I do not remember what happened, but I encountered the Lord. This presence was incredible and literally changed everything. My life was not just full but overflowing. All I could speak of for the next couple of months was of what the Lord did and was continuing to do. I remember the first moment I did not physically feel the presence of God months later and got scared, but I heard the Lord say "Don't worship Me for how you feel, but worship Me for who I am." That entered a new season.
A season of growth.
A season of change.
A season of faith.
A season of joy.
A Great Move
Transitioning to a new house, town and people was very difficult when my family moved from Georgia to North Carolina. As soon as I set my feet on the ground, I began hunting for a new church family. In Georgia I had the most knit close group of friends I could have ever asked for and now I had no body. Thankfully, the Lord led me to a place to call home, but it was a different kind of home. I had been in a place of being nurtured by peers and adults, but in North Carolina I felt I now was the nurturer of peers for the most part. It was a time of growth in being more of a leader and an encourager.
During my time in North Carolina I was able to go on many mission trips with my church, including international trips to India and Ecuador. I still remember heading to the airport to go to India saying, "this is what I want to do with my life" referring to being a missionary.
The Last Three Years
I really thought I was "spiritually mature" entering college, little did I know God had a ton of refining to do. Year one was an attack at my vulnerability and really learning that the Lord had called me and that that call is eternal. Philippians 1:6 was a common phrase, that the work that had began was going to be completed.
Los Angeles
I applied for a summer internship with the Dream Center, an INCREDIBLE ministry, in Los Angeles and doubted I would get it. However, after I applied I strongly sensed the Lord communicating to me that I was going to get the internship and was going to come to know that God's call as a missionary was real and was for the long-haul. (All throughout high school and beginning of college I knew I was called to missions, but did not want to assume that meant full-time, so there was still some fuzziness.) I got the internship and had so much peace about it and about what I would be doing.
When I got there, it was TERRIBLE and not what I expected or had hoped for. Before I had arrived I had been asked what population's I enjoyed working with and I sheepishly said, "any except for the elderly". My first day I am told "we heard you have a heart for the elderly" and so was placed working with the elderly.
My first morning I sat in my bed crying and I praying "Lord, I feel like you disappointed me." Then I remembered, only three weeks before I left home, I received a word from the Lord that said verbatim "THE LORD DOES NOT DISAPPOINT". I knew why the Lord had told me that, so in this moment of feeling betrayed and abandoned I could continue to trust that the Lord knew what was happening and was in control. It turned out to be the BEST SEASON OF MY LIFE! I met some of the most incredible people, personally experienced the Lord through healings, visions, dreams and miracles, learned a whole lot about the Lord and His brokenness, specifically for the elderly. Then about what the Lord had said about missions, YES it was solidified. The Lord spoke clearly about missions and I knew it was for life.
Guatemala
Before, during and after Los Angeles people kept sensing that maybe the Lord did not want me in school any more, but to continue missions in some form or fashion. It was very stressful for me trying to figure out, because I was looking for a clear direction. Throughout those nine months or so, I came to see how the Lord was giving it as an option, but I really had the choice. God had done this with colleges too, before I knew I was accepted I heard the Lord say "you're in, it's your choice". Choosing freaks me out a bit, because I'm convinced one MUST be better than the other. But I know whatever choice I make, God is with me and will be leading me and using me wherever I am. It's like they say, "it's not where you go, but what you take with you where you go".
Back to Guatemala…Days before I left I received a word saying that exact thing, "You are going to be faced with a decision and you need to know that whatever decision you choose God supports it 100%". Planning a trip and flying alone to Guatemala to visit an orphanage for a week was a unreal experience. It felt like the start of the rest of my life. The trip was awesome. I was different from all the other people who also had a heart for orphans in that my heart was so much more for the state orphanage with over 600 children as opposed to the small Christian orphanage we were with all week. It was a neat difference to learn. While I was there, I could clearly see myself moving there, but decided to finish school first.
No More Heart for Missions. WHAT?
From the time I entered college till I made that decision to finish school my focus had been on my future of missions. I had never really allowed the Lord to "plant" me in Boone where I was attending school. I told the Lord to plant me and in a matter of weeks, 5 to 6 different opportunities to lead and serve were entrusted to me. I was absolutely amazed. At the same time, I began to realize that since the time I had claimed God's call to full-time missions the summer prior I had allowed it to give me some identity and security and purpose. So the Lord asked me to give it back to Him. I did.
The next fourish months were rough, that identity, security and purpose in missions, not in the Lord, were ripped from me and I felt that lacking. I also lacked a care in the world for missions, and was very discouraged. However, it was a good season to come to a deeper level of understanding that it is the Lord who solely defines who I am.
The World Race
It was a Sunday and the Lord's Spirit was moving in a great way. My pastor said that he felt the Lord wanted to reawaken dreams. I too felt the Lord stirring missions back up, so I told that Lord that if He was ready, I'd like to look at it, but I'm not digging it up if it's not time.
Four days later, I was speaking with a friend who is now currently on the race and I began to go crazy! Before college even began I was mindful of embarking on some sort of mission program after college and had looked, but nothing seemed the slightest bit interesting. On this day, I had come from months of not caring about or thinking about missions at all and in this conversation all passion was back! We discussed the world race for hours and I liked the idea more and more.
I took the next 6 months or so really trying to give it to the Lord and let the Lord have His way. I tried to make myself get excited about other opportunities, but I was only excited about the world race.
It Made Sense
My biggest fear about the race is knowing how it can be perceived. That first day I told my friend, I do not want it to sound like I am just some college graduate who wants to travel the world. She along with many other friends greatly assured me that I was not perceived that way. After going to India, I felt called to India alone for the next three years, during that time I think the Lord spoke a call to Eastern Europe as well, but all along I believed I would start in a Spanish speaking country. My heart was not for a Spanish speaking country until a Monday morning in July in Los Angeles and it was a 180 degree turn. I share this because I do believe during the course of my life I will live in many different regions of the world and to take my first year to learn, and experience different countries, cultures and people is most beneficial. Plus, I get to see how people live within their communities loving people in SOOO many different ways. This too will help in discerning options while discerning my gifts and how to best utilize them for the Lord's Glory. When the routes were posted there was one offered with the three countries I most feel called: Guatemala, Romania and India! I could not believe it! So I applied, got accepted and am set to leave in January.
Thanks for reading, I know it's long and there is so much more, and so much more to come, because we serve a God who is so intimately involved in our lives. I pray we all will continue to lean on His understanding and acknowledge the Lord as our paths are made straight and made to draw all people to the know Jesus!
-Chaney
