Dear Mama,
All my life you have told me that in certain ways you find yourself living vicariously through me. What an honor that is to know that you take part in my life in such a close and sincere and somewhat hands on way. With that being said, I figured I'd give you a list of things you can do to better live vicariously through me.
#1 Go to your nearest Dick's Sporting good and purchase a 1 liter Nalgene water bottle, as this will be your mode of teeth brushing for the next year of your life.
#2 You will need to make a run over to Lowe's or Home Depot and get a white painter's bucket, just big enough for a few scoops of water…as you will be bathing from this bucket every other day.
#3 Tell Da to clear out the shed in the back and dig a hole for you to have a place to "shower" and drain any other bodily fluids that apply.
.
#4 Smile! As God continues baking up more batches of humble pie.
Love,
Chanell
