I drank because I was hurting, unable to forgive those who wronged me. Still believing the lies that flooded my consciousness like a roaring tsunami crashing and destroying everything in sight. I drank because I was ashamed of all the hurt I caused in my past. I wore shame as if it were a cinder blocks tied to my ankles and I was sinking into the dark abyss. I drank because I didn’t know what it truly meant to be filled by you. My soul begged for a quench of anything that would numb the pain. But that pain was still there no matter how much I kept pouring that liquid courage into my glass.
I never knew what it felt like to be in love with someone who looked at you like you were their entire world. I never knew what it felt like to be held in the arms of someone who called me His own. I never knew what it felt like to have someone truly see me and listen to my every word.
I lay everything at your feet. I lay every lie, every wrongdoing, every mistake, every pain. I lay it all down.
I give you my past. I give you my present. I give you my future.
Take my mind. Take my body. Take my soul.
I now know what it means to be loved. I now know what it means to have grace. I now know what it means to be free.
Jesus, I love you with everything I am. I love you for what you did for me on that cross. I love you for bringing me home.
I am seen. I am known. I am loved.
Now I drink your overflowing goodness that fills my entire being with joy. Now I drink to be filled by your spirit allowing it to use me. Now I drink from your cup of truth and righteousness for I now know who I am.
I am your son, I am Chandler Christ.
