It's almost noon the day before I leave everyone & everything I've ever know for 11 months. It's still hard to grasp, and honestly I don't even think I'm trying to grasp it at this point. I'm pushing it down. “It” being the fear! As far down as it will go, numbing myself to what is sure to be an overwhelming feeling when I finally do allow it to come over me. You see I know this is the next step in my journey. The Lord has confirmed it so many different ways that I KNOW. However, that doesn't make it any less scary. Following the Lord wholeheartedly is scary stuff!
On the flip side, I couldn't be more excited! Who has time for fear???!!! There are at least 50 reasons for me to go, but the biggest reason I'm excited is because I'm going to grow so much closer to the Lord then I am already. I don't claim to be a perfect person, never have. I sin…a LOT. Some of my sin I'm probably not even aware of…yet, but lots of it is. I can't wait for the Lord to break me of my know & unknown sin alike and usher me into new heights & depths of our relationship. New levels that I can't comprehend…yet. If you can't tell I'm going into my WR journey fully expecting God to mess me up. And when I lay broken, for Him to meet me right there in my brokenness and lift me back up. Praise God because I know it's only a matter of time before He brings me to this and through this into new and wonderful things.
