I want to go home! I don’t want to be on the World Race anymore. I could tell AIM I want to go home and I would be there within the week. How exciting is that! And in which case why am I even still here? I’m over halfway through this journey and yet still have 4 & ½ months to go. How in the world am I gonna make it, especially when I look at all that things that I’m sick of and miss.
I’m sick of wearing the same four boxers, four shorts, six shirts and one pair of Chacos everyday. I miss having a toilet to poop on. I’m sick of not having warm water to shower with. I’m sick of having to wear my Chacos everywhere except my bed cause everything is dirt. Speaking of beds, I miss my bed and want to sleep in my own. I’m sick of not being able to find clothes that fit me in any country. I miss not being able to call or text my family whenever I want. The same goes for my friends. I’m sick of not making any money and being completely broke because I put everything I had into this journey. I miss watching football. I’m sick of having to eat all three meals on $5 a day. I miss being alone when I need to be. I’m sick of eating weird food. I miss good American food. I’m sick of feeling forgotten at times by family and friends. I’m sick of only getting to use the internet once a week on average. I miss not being able to drive. I’m sick of not being able to go anywhere alone. I miss being able to do what I want when I want. I’m sick of not being able to fully communicate with the vast majority of the people I interact with on a daily basis. I miss all these and every other comfort of home I spared you by not mentioning.
Don’t I have the right to be mad and go home? After all, am I not giving up more than my fair share to be used by God? Then I read about Paul’s sufferings in 2 Corinthians 11:24-28,
“Five times I received at the hand of the Jews the forty lashes less one. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people…in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless nights, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposed.”
So I suppose I should shut up now right? Here I am feeling sorry for myself. For my “sufferings”, and they pale in comparison to what Paul went through during the course of his ministry. Now Paul had the right to complain! But the crazy thing is…he didn’t. Paul, shortly after recounting all he had gone through said:
“For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecution and calamities. For when I am weak, I am strong. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ my rest upon me.”
What amazing faith which shaped the way he choose to view his circumstances. Instead of being annoyed like me, Paul chooses to view every uncomfortable situation and experience as an opportunity to see God. As I sit and think on this passage of scripture, it’s easy for me to see that all my frustration in this present situation comes from a bad attitude and taking my focus off Jesus and placing it on myself.
“Lord, I pray you help me grow in this area. Let selfishness have no place in my heart! May my faith in you become so strong that despite the worst things life throws at me, I can take peace in knowing that the weakness I may then feel is just another opportunity for your power to rest on me.” Amen.
