There are two things I have stressed from the beginning of Training Camp with my Squad and team. 1. Was for the men to set an example for the ladies of the squad by showing them how true, Godly men treated women, and 2. About being vulnerable. Sin can only thrive in our lives when it is unknown and goes on without accountability. Sin cannot survive in the light and that exactly where vulnerability and accountability push it…the light. With that being said…
My wholes focus hasn't been solely on Christ and what He wants to do in me throughout this journey. I've decided to not go into details as to what has been my distraction. That's between me and the Lord. Even though I haven't done a great job of this thus far, I have an understanding with God that I will do better. I REALLY do want Christ to be my focus and see “All Things” through the lens He then gives me to see them.
I can't remember the last time I was consistently in the word daily. And the only time I was was when I wanted/needed something from God. This needs to change. I need to change this. I want the word of God to be my first option, not my last resort.
I enjoy the “power” that comes with position that was bestowed upon me by AIM. Inside it makes me feel important. Sometimes even more important than others with “lower” or no title. I know that's not right.. I need to remember Christ's model for leadership. Servant leadership! He came to serve, not to be served.
Here I am Lord, laying myself bare. Please help me to make the necessary changes in myself. Give me a hungry and thirst for your Word like I've had in times past and instill that in me for the rest of my life. Help me to be focused solely on You and the ministry I have the opportunity to do in your name. And lastly help me to always put the needs of my team above the wants of me personally. I know this isn't everything wrong in my life Lord, but it's a start and I know that's more than enough space for You to do work in me. Do work Lord! Amen.
Throughout my life I've often looked at certain people in ministry that were in authority over me as perfect people without sin. I don't want to continue that persona with my squad and team. I am far from perfect and I never claimed to be. Like Paul said, I am the “chief sinner”, yet that won't keep me from doing my best to lead well and that's what I'm hoping to accomplish through this post. That vulnerability is key.
Even as I type this I fear being judged and/or disappointing people. But I can't let my fear of what others might think or say keep me from pushing my sin into the light where it can be fought by me and those who will hold me accountable. Instead I ask you to do the same thing and be completely honest with yourself about where you are with the Lord and try to move forward into a better relationship with Him cause that's something we all can admit we need…even without being vulnerable.
