“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.” Henri J.M. Nouwen, Out of Solitude: Three Meditations on the Christian Life
A year ago I hopped on my F I R S T plane and flew to Jalisco, Mexico. I was sitting by myself looking out the window at the beautiful fluffy clouds and thinking, “I can totally do this, I can fly by myself with absolute strangers and NOT be scared. I can totally do the World Race.” That’s when I first told myself that I was indeed going to do the 11 month journey of a lifetime. But I didn’t know then that this journey comes with a lot of hiccups and heartaches….
It’s been 105 days since I left America. I left with no expectations of what the World Race would be like. I left my family, friends, local church, career, grad-school, possessions, and comforts behind and I guess in some crazy way I thought everything would pause. It didn’t. Life is still going in full force. Month one I was in Maseru, Lesotho I had friends get married, have baby showers, and have babies. I love rejoicing with them from a far. Knowing that they are happy and safe made me not being there seem small. Month two was a different story I was in Nosoko, Swaziland basically the middle of no where and I hardly ever had internet access. One evening I received a text message “You probably won’t get this but I wish you were here.” My heart literally sunk. After that message I had more loved ones share hardships with me. It hurts. I’m halfway through month four. Truth is, I’m tired. It’s exhausting being on the other side of the world and receiving bad news. News that someone you love is hurting. News that you have no control over and you can’t fix. I’m currently in one of those moments right now.
One of my favorite miracles that Jesus did was when He healed a man without physically going to his side and as I sit here through this moment Jesus is reminding me that He can handle this too.
Luke 7:1-10 “Now when He concluded all His sayings in the hearing of the people, He entered Capernaum. And a certain centurion’s servant, who was dear to him, was sick and ready to die. So when he heard about Jesus, he sent elders of the Jews to Him, pleading with Him to come and heal his servant. And when they came to Jesus, they begged Him earnestly, saying that the one for whom He should do this was deserving, “for he loves our nation, and has built us a synagogue.” Then Jesus went with them. And when He was already not far from the house, the centurion sent friends to Him, saying to Him, “Lord, do not trouble Yourself, for I am not worthy that You should enter under my roof. Therefore I did not even think myself worthy to come to You. But say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I also am a man placed under authority, having soldiers under me. And I say to one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and to another, ‘Come,’ and he comes; and to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.” When Jesus heard these things, He marveled at him, and turned around and said to the crowd that followed Him, “I say to you, I have not found such great faith, not even in Israel!” And those who were sent, returning to the house, found the servant well who had been sick.
The Bible says that Jesus was in awe at the faith of this Roman soldier. A faith that led to the healing of his servant. I’m sitting here talking to God and reminding Him of the promise He made me, “take care of mine and I’ll take care of yours”. Truth is as much as I love my family and friends, Jesus loves them more. And as much as I want to be that shoulder for them to lean on, Jesus wants to be their wonderful counselor (Isaiah 9:6). Today as I was sitting outside praying for a friend and the death in her family I heard a guy singing a song with a thick accent and broken English,
"You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all
Seeking You are a precious jewel
Lord, to give up I'd be a fool
You are my all in all
Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name
Worthy is Your name
Oh, Your name is worthy"
“But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me, so that the message might be preached fully through me, and that all the Gentiles might hear. Also I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion.” 2 Timothy 4:17
