Change is not always an easy thing…
Its uncomfortable when the lord calls us to move on from something that is familiar especially when it becomes a routine.
For the past month I have been working in a buddhist school where I was a teachers aid for English. I would sit with children that where ages 4-6 who spoke very little English, and I would attempt to teach them my language. At first I struggled with where the lord had placed me. Why had he brought me all the way to Cambodia and put me in a place where I couldn’t even speak about who my God is?
the children that attended the school were from wealthy families. After about a week of serving them. I realized the lord didn’t need me to literally be talking about his name all the time.
Instead he called me to live a life that was one he lived. He called me to Cambodia to love people extravagantly. He called me to serve others effortlessly.
I realized that sitting In that class room with those children just smiling and loving on them by reading books opening their snakes and attempting too communicate was exactly where the Lord wanted me and what he called me to be doing. I realized that this is what Jesus would do if he were there in that class room with those children.
going to ministry every day with a completely new mindset changed everything!
I was able to understand that we don’t always see god working in the moments we would like too. God is always fighting for his people and sometimes God uses us to be apart of the start of a battle instead of witnessing the end. I finally understood that and worked hard daily to find joy in the place that the lord had me. Honestly though its not as easy as it may seem. For the past week I have been sick and even though I had a good mind set on ministry I was struggling with finding comfort and worth in the place I was at. For the last week of ministry I really felt that the devil was using my weakness in that time to attack me emotionally. I struggled with comparing myself to the people around me and was confused on why the lord had brought me all the way to Cambodia and now I was questioning who I was and what i brought to the table. I was extremely sad and confused on why the Lord would be separating Kat and I for two whole months. these thoughts weighed me down for about a week till I realized that they where so not from the Lord and I was doubting his plan for my life…so I spoke it out. I verbally told satan that I didn’t belong to him that he needed to leave. I also spoke to many people about the way I felt and received loads of encouraging feedback and affirmation for what the Lord is doing in, and through me. since then I have felt an overflowing peace that the lord has brought into so many parts of my life.
