There were so many days this summer when I sat in the sanctuary in northern Oklahoma and just prayed for guidance from God. I had conversation after conversation about what God wanted for my life (clearly, I'm a planner) and what His next steps for me would be. I wanted to know where I was headed and waiting wasn't an option for me. When I finally decided I could wait for what God was going to eventually reveal to me, I did so begrudgingly.
In early June, I began sensing that God was very strongly pulling me towards campus ministry. The thought of going into vocational ministry had never really crossed my mind. This was a dream I had previously imagined but seemed too far off-not remotely tangible. Consequently, I wrote it off until midsummer when I decided to humor the idea and actually talk about it. I remember bringing it up with my campus minister, Greg, and immediately feeling a couple things. First, this was something I wanted nothing more than to pursue. Second, I was completely and entirely ill-equipped. After a bit more discussion on the topic, the opportunity for an internship with Arcadia Christian Fellowship (ACF) was presented to me. This would give me the chance to feel out campus ministry, see an example of what it looks like from a leadership perspective, and really learn more about what I was considering. I decided to take some time and pray about it.
It was somewhere in that period of time, between discussing my interest in campus ministry and being offered the internship, when I really began looking into doing the World Race. My best friend Rose and I had been reading blogs for what seemed like months, finding spiritual inspiration in the deep and meaningful stories that were being relayed by other racers abroad. I hadn't ever considered going until this summer. After much prayer and consideration, I applied and was later accepted. Immediately, I took that as I indication to move forward with these plans. Looking at it now, it's almost comical seeing how God works in your life. Sometimes it seems so backwards.
I planned on living in Georgia for the fall until I left for the race in January. I spent a short period of time there before I realized something just didn't feel right. My heart was somewhere in Pennsylvania and it was leading me back in that direction. I decided to head back up to the Philadelphia area, not really knowing where I was going to live or what step was coming next. I took a leap of faith, knowing God would provide the means for me to stay. Turns out, Greg and Ashley somehow made room for me in their home and I was able to accept an abbreviated internship with ACF. This whole time I have been support raising and sharing my passion for issues abroad with anyone I could. My heart aches for the poor and impoverished.
My first support deadline for the race came and went faster than I could have ever anticipated. As it neared, I continued to pray (as I had been for months) that God would show me what he wanted for me. As I have continued with my internship, I have wholeheartedly fallen in love with the students I am investing in, all the while knowing I am leaving the country. But God seems to have other plans for me. Through His choosing to withhold the necessary finances, I was presented with the reality that a January World Race departure could no longer happen. My alternative was to leave in July. This entire time I have been praying for a closed door, something thatwould show me which step to take. I have no problem with a change of plans. I've never been afraid of change. The deadline came and I began changing my prayer- I don't need a sign, I don't need to see what God has planned for me, I just want to feel at peace about a decision one way or the other.
God has very clearly shown me that doing the World Race is not a part of my immediate future. I still have a burden for global injustices and reaching the unreached and believe God will provide me with other opportunities through which I can serve and be refilled in those areas. I am following God's plan for my life, one step at a time, working towards His will for what He has ultimately equipped me to do. If it weren't for my signing up for the World Race, I would have missed out on the chance to do this internship and fall in love with the process of transforming college students. If it weren't for my signing up for the World Race, a very close friend of mine wouldn't have seen her passion for the Race as well and wouldn't have decided she was being called to do the Race herself. God has a way of providing opportunities that will lead you in the right direction, however backwards they may seem. I will continue to move forward and follow God's will for my life, wherever that may take me. As I travel this road, I ask that you all continue walking along side me. Don't hesitate to contact me about what I'm doing. I would love to share what God has placed so heavily on my heart.
Remember Psalm 119:105
