So, I'm not great at this who "blogging" thing, but here goes. This last week I spend time in Tennesse getting to know my "sqad" that I am traveling with on the World Race, as well as meeting the smaller team that God has placed me with. It was a really great week filled with worship and sessions and quality time with a lot of really awesome people, but as I look back, what is God trying to teach me? The week was really great and after camp I got to spend some much needed time with family. For those of you who don't know me or much about me, my mom died of breast cancer when i was 10, and so this past weekend, I went with some of my siblings to my mom's brother's (my uncle). As we were sitting around and talking I kept asking my aunt and uncle, "tell me about my mother. What was she like?" Don't get me wrong, I did know my mom but it was also from the perspective of a 10 year old and I didn't know her before she was married or how she reacted in other situations. Now, as I am seeking to live my life and make decisions for my future, I find my self wondering what my mom would say, or what she would think if she was still alive. Well, getting back to the point, one of the things that my aunt brought up again and one of the things I DID hear my mom say was, "remember who's child you are". She didn't just mean don't get into trouble because people are going to gossip about our family, she meant remember that you are a child of the king.
During one of the activities this past week in Tennessee I found myself saying, "I'm stupid" or, "its dumb" and one of the trainers looked at me and said, "Cathy, quit saying that. You are not dumb and your feelings DO matter." Immediately memories started flooding my mind of how many times I continue to tell myself that I'm stupid. I don't even remember how or when it started but, Satan has gotten me to buy into his lies and tell myself that I'm not worth it and that my thoughts and ideas don't matter. Then when my aunt reminded me of what my mom said, I was brought back to a verse from 1 John 3:1.? It says:
"See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and SUCH we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him."
"You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world." 1 John 4:4
I would say that primarily these past few weeks God is trying to call me back and remind me, that no matter what mistakes I have made, that He still loves me and that He still wants me to be His and still will use my willing heart for His kingdom. I am not defined by my mistakes but rathermy identity in Christ.
