So at work we are going through our Interim Performance Reviews. This is the first one I’ve ever really gone through in the professional world. Basically at the beginning of each year you put in goals you would like to accomplish. Then you do an interim and final review to see how you measured up. This means the entire year, you are basically being judged by the work you do. This makes logical sense in the hierarchy of today’s society. The high performers that are actually value added to the company – stay, and the low performers who either don’t like their job and could care less or really can’t do their job – go. So here I am being measured on this scale – it’s time to make sure I’m worth it. Whew – I passed. I’m worth keeping around, but why does it matter so much? I’m leaving in short 4 months. But that’s just it – I want what human kind craves. Attention, acceptance, respect, reward, pride.
This whole acceptance thing made me start thinking about my relationship with God. He accepts me no matter what. I can be fake all day, even to Him, but He sees right through everything. He sees my heart and knows my thoughts and loves me anyway. I continually screw up and He forgives me. I can work extremely hard to please Him, but He’s satisfied just having a relationship with me. I need to learn what the world doesn’t teach – God accepts me. I don’t have to work hard to gain approval from Him. He has this unconditional love for me that is impossible for me to grasp in my finite little brain. I need to believe that God loves me just as much on my hard days as my easy ones. And that He will never leave me – He may get very angry with me but He’ll always be there. I don’t have to work hard for Him to prove to Him that I’m worth loving. I will joyfully serve Him because I love Him and I know He loves me. There’s no way I can be perfect – but He gave up His perfect son Jesus just so He could have a relationship with me. I am so thankful that we don’t get Performance Reviews for being Christians. It’s not about how “perfect” you seem to be to the world. It’s about your heart – who do you live for? Who do you love more than anyone/anything else? Who do you want to serve? Who do you want to spend special time with each and every day? God knows and you know – and that’s all that really matters.
