So I haven’t really ever loved my job. I’ve never been excited to come to work. I usually don’t have much to do, but when I do I don’t really mind doing the work – even though it’s usually mindless. But since acceptance to the World Race, my motivation for work has completely disappeared.
I used to get into around 8:30 or so in the morning and stay until 4:30 or 5 to get in my eight hours. But lately it’s a miracle if I get to work before 10. Yes I said 10 AM. Is that not ridiculous?!?! I’m fortunate to have a very flexible, easy going boss who doesn’t really care what time I get in as long as I get my work done. But because I get in at 10 I can’t leave until 6 at the earliest! So there goes my whole day…just because I didn’t want to go to work. And even at work I don’t really want to do the tasks they give me. I just get really frustrated because I see no point of it – I’ll just be leaving anyways. So by the time I get off work I have to get errands done or I have places to go and people to see, so I don’t ever really have much spare time. I feel so busy all the time, which kind of stresses me out.
So why do I come in so late?! Well I’ve started sleeping through my alarm clock. My favorite, which happens pretty much every morning, is when my alarm clock becomes part of my dream. So I just sleep right through it and my dream is filled with people shouting beeping noises at me. Or if the alarm does wake me up, I usually turn it off and roll back over and go back to sleep. I just really don’t care to start my day early apparently. I’ve tried moving the alarm clock across the room. I’ve tried using 2 or 3 separate alarms. Nothing works.
I used to not be like this, so I contribute this complete lack of motivation to the World Race. I have this huge exciting thing right around the corner….it’s so close I can feel it, but it’s still not close enough. It won’t be close enough until I finally quit my job, and then I’ll be freaking out because it’ll be coming too soon. I really don’t want to miss opportunities right here and right now that the Lord is presenting to me just because I’m wallowing in my job hating. I know the Lord doesn’t have me leaving until January for a reason, and I know I’m supposed to stay and work here until then. Pray that I’ll find some motivation to keep going to work, and that I won’t miss the opportunities the Lord gives me to serve Him and serve others at work. And pray that I find an alarm that will actually wake me up!
