sunday was probably one of the most physically challenging things i’ve ever done. we did this thing called the fitness hike. 2.5 miles up hills & through the forest with our 50+ lb backpacks strapped to us. what made it more challenging was the fact that we only had 38 minutes to complete it. let me tell you, before we started, i thought to myself “i got this, it cant be that hard”. BOY WAS I WRONG. I started at the front of my team, confident as ever. slowly each team member started to pass me and i quickly fell to the back of the group. Remember when I said it was the most physically challenging thing i’ve ever done? Well it was also THE most spiritually challenging thing ive ever done. Our squad mentor madie said before we went that the fitness hike brings everyone closer to jesus & that it was a weird concept. But let me tell you, if i didn’t believe her then, i do now…
Going up the first hill, I was already struggling to breathe. I made it into the forest for the first lap(ya you heard that right. FIRST lap…) & i was honestly about to give up. I learned a lot in that 38 minutes about myself. one thing is that i like to give up when things get hard. that’s exactly what I was about to do. but i kept going. i made it to this thing called the jesus hill & let me tell you they aren’t kidding when they call it that because that day i met him there. when i made it up halfway, i began to feel my legs give up. then i saw our squad mentor madie. she came behind me and lifted my pack. she lifted the weight off my shoulders so that i could walk easier.
y’all THAT is what freedom in the Lord looks like. He comes up behind us when he sees us struggling & lifts the weight of our burdens that we carry through life.
when i got up that hill, it didn’t get any easier. I knew that i had to do it all again. As i kept walking, i ran into my sweet friend kaylin. we were both struggling to breathe & make it through the forest for the second time. i remember just grabbing her hand & in that moment i knew we were in this together. We both began praying out loud. if one of us wasn’t praying the other was.
“just one more step Lord. one more breath”
we made it through, but we both knew what was coming… one last time up that jesus hill. Just one more time. this time was not easier than the first. i knew i had come this far & wasn’t going to give up now. even though i wanted to more than anything.
“just one more step”
madie was there once again behind us, lifting our packs as we used everything in ourselves to get up this hill. I started to cry. tears streamed down my face as i struggled to breathe. NOW i know why they call it the jesus hill, because that morning i met jesus there. Better yet, he met me where i was.
This is what my life feels like. That 50 lb backpack symbolized the weight of all the things i try to hold on to and carry. all the weight of my sins. the weight of trying to control my life. trying to carry it up this hill on my own was never going to work. I needed Him to come behind me & take it from me in order to walk through this.
if that is what life is like trying to hold on to those things, then i dont want it.
Lord i give it all to you. thank you for carrying the weight of my sins on that calvary cross. When jesus was carrying his cross up the hill, he was thinking of you.
He knew you before you knew yourself
I made it up, but it wasnt over yet. I had given my weight to Him, but that didn’t mean i could stop walking. I had to make the choice to keep going. even if it still wasn’t easy. This remind me of what life is like sometimes. When we surrender our life to God, it doesn’t become perfect or easy. we still have to choose to surrender every single day, until He comes back to take us home.
i made it to the final stretch. just a few more minutes & it would be over. when i made it to the road for the final time, my team leader cassi came running to me. she literally put her arm under me & carried me down the road. ive never been so excited to finish something, but i did it. I finished. I remember getting to the end & closing my eyes as tears streamed down my face. i saw kaylin and we just laid on the ground praying together, but this time we were praising the Lord for allowing us to finish.
remember in the beginning of this when i said madie told us the hike weirdly brought people closer to the Lord? ya. she was right.
That day on the hill, i met jesus
