This month has challenged me, stretched me, and pushed me way beyond my comfort zones.
We are staying in Lomé, Togo this month. Three of the teams on my squad are living and doing ministry together. There are 15 people living all together in a small 3 bedroom house. I sleep in the living room with 5 other people, all crowded close together so that everyone can feel a bit of the fan. If you know me at all, you know that I value my alone time. However, with these living arrangements it is very difficult to find any privacy or alone time. Pretty much the only time you are alone is in the bathroom, and even then someone might accidentally walk in on you (one of the bathrooms doesn’t have a door).
Ministry this month is a lot of preaching and teaching. Again, if you know me, you know that I do not enjoy public speaking, particularly in an area where I don’t necessarily feel qualified to speak. Everything about preaching forces me out of my comfort zone. The length of the message, the often unexpectedness, and the feeling of inadequacy.
I’ve preached several times now. Twice I have been asked to give a 30 minute message only moments before having to go up in front of the church. I was not prepared either time. I have since learned my lesson and never go to a church service without my notebook in hand.
I also taught at a bible college. I had to teach for an hour and a half. That is a terrifyingly long amount of time to talk (I had a translator, but still). I have never been described as long-winded but I made it through the whole class. I also struggled with the fact that I was teaching students at a bible college. I have never been to bible college and felt unqualified to teach.
Despite so much discomfort, I can see growth. I haven’t struggled with constantly being around people as much as I would have a few months ago. I am more comfortable in giving a message with little to no preparation. I have been forced to dig into the Word and make sure everything I say is backed up by scripture in order to combat feelings of inadequacy.
I am expectant about the things I will learn and the areas in which I will continue to grow as we finish out our time in Togo. Thank you so much for all your prayers, they have such an impact!
