Back when I was in Ethiopia, I came to the realization that I had become so accustomed to people relying on me that I didn’t know what to do once they stopped coming to me for advice and support. I felt like I needed to be needed and do what was comfortable, ignoring what the Lord was actually asking of me. I didn’t want to fully be myself in the midst of an all-squad month. I didn’t want to challenge people I barely knew. I didn’t want to be vulnerable. I didn’t want to have the unpopular opinions. I didn’t want to bring things to my new team when my old one was still there.
Couldn’t I just go back to the way things were? At least I could fix things with Groot. Everything with Real MC seemed to spiral out of control in the blink of an eye. But little did I know, that’s exactly what I needed. The chaos taught me that it’s not my job to fix it, and it never was. I’ve learned to trust that God is in control, to be obedient in His timing, and to hold tightly to the truth that we are helping each other grow in ways we never would have outside of these circumstances.
I’ve been in Thailand for a week, and I know I need to apply this same mindset to the things I’ve been experiencing. But it’s much more difficult this time around. I want to fix it. All of it. We currently live in a tourist trap by a beach in the middle of a red light district. To be honest, I hate it here. You can find couples on holiday, families with kids on vacation, and friends enjoying their spring break. Most of which are completely oblivious, ignorant, or participate in the horrors that are a daily occurrence here.
You can’t walk down the street at night without someone shoving a sex menu in your face outside one of the bars. The women who work at “massage” businesses will often pull men’s arms toward them in attempts to gain another customer, but they’ll always ignore me. Women can be purchased from any of the bars any night of the week. There are prostitutes who sit by the entrance of the alley that leads to our hostel every night. Men can choose which woman they want to buy through the glass at some “massage” businesses that don’t have the usual “no sex” signs posted. Prices will vary based on how young and beautiful she is. And people stay out drunk and partying until as late as 8am every day.
This doesn’t feel real. It’s overwhelming. It feels like I’m in another world, not another country. And I can barely handle the aspects of Thailand that feel like America. What can I do? I want to do something- anything to change things here. But I can’t fix it. Hell, prostitution is illegal here too! But as long as there is sin in the world, evil will continue to run its course.
So what will I do? Pray and intercede. During the latter half of my time in Myanmar, the Lord put prayer and intercession on my heart like crazy, and I know He was preparing me to do battle in the spiritual realm this month. While some of my teammates hope to talk to girls at the bars, speaking life and showing the love of Jesus to them, I plan to be the one covering them in prayer. To walk up and down Bangla Road or the coast of the beach every night and pray like never before.
-Catherine
Philippians 4:6-7- Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
James 5:16-Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.
Mark 9:29- And when he had entered the house, his disciples asked him privately, “Why could we not cast it out?” And he said to them, “This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer.”
